


Awake but not Alive

by RinAsami



Series: Awake Series [2]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood and Torture, Cussing, Demons, Eventual Happy Ending, Grim Reapers, M/M, Psychological Torture, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sadism, Twisted, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2018-08-28 02:16:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8427013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RinAsami/pseuds/RinAsami
Summary: The Earl Ciel Phantomhive won. He won against Sebastian and prevented the demon from consuming his soul. Was winning their little game worth the cost? Will Ciel become the target of a furious demon's revenge?





	1. Awake

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the sequel of what I'm calling the "Awake Series!" I hope you enjoy this next story that continues on from Awake and Alive. If you haven't read Awake and Alive yet, please do so before reading this continuation.
> 
> Thank you so much for those that asked for a sequel, it wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for you! <3

 

* * *

 

 

Ciel awoke groggy with a splitting headache. He could feel already it was not going to be a good morning. With a heavy sigh and an outstretching of limbs the boy shook his head and rose up out of the less than comfortable bed. Looking around, he realized that he had not been sleeping in his own room. He was in a room with hardly any decoration; plain and almost sterile looking. Possibly he was in a hospital, he thought.

Walking around the bed and finding an open door to the right of the room, he stepped into the in-suite bathroom. He felt so blah and groggy and thought a splash of water on his face would do him good. Reaching around with his eyes closed, face dripping with the fresh water, he found the soft towel hanging to his left and grabbed it to wipe his face. It was then his eyes opened and he looked at his reflection in the square mirror above the sink for the first time.

A scream broke the silence of the small in-suite.

The face Ciel was expecting to see in the mirror was not the one he saw. He recognized the small boyish features and slate hair. The pink plump lips and small nose, yes those were all his too. But the eyes, the eyes were not his own. Instead of the expected beautiful blue left eye and a violet tinted right eye, he saw a pair of large piercing green eyes staring back at him. The sight took him aback and he stumbled on his feet, falling backwards into the rear wall.

The boy’s face went pale as he lifted his hands to touch around his face, watching his movements in the mirror from the far wall. His thin, pale fingers poked and prodded his face, making sure he wasn’t dreaming. He moved his eyes and those in the mirror moved too. The stark green eyes were defiantly his; they had to be since he was moving them when he looked to the left and right. Moving closer to the mirror, he opened his eyes wide to see the white around the green irises. In awe and without thinking his finger went to his right eye and he touched the delicate orb.

“Ow!” He yelled as he drew his hand back. Apparently he touched, more like poked, his eye a little harder than he meant to.

Ciel heard a door opening from the far side of the main bedroom and he marched into the room to see just who was interrupting his pending meltdown.

“Phantomhive, what are you doing in here screaming and yelling?” The man in a crisp suit said with a heavy sigh. “Honestly.”

“Spears!” said Ciel as he moved closer to the reaper.

“What in the hell is wrong with my eyes? These aren’t my eyes!” Ciel asked in a worried but demanding tone.

The stoic reaper rolled his own eyes. “Phantomhive, firstly, you are not in hell. You would know it if you were, trust me. Secondly, think of the last thing you remember. It will all become clearer when you remember what happened.”

The earl just stared at the reaper as he thought hard about the last thing he remembered. What was the last thing he remembered? _Think…think…_

Blood, he remembered a lot of blood on his hands. And…and pain, yes, there was a lot of stabbing pain. Maybe he was stabbed when he was on assignment? No, Sebastian wouldn’t have let that happen. _Sebastian…hmmm ,_ he thought. Suddenly his shocked green eyes flicked up to meet the same bright green eyes of the reaper’s.

“Fuck, I…I…killed myself! I killed myself to screw Sebastian over!!!” Ciel said in an almost shout as the realization of what had happened dawned on him.

He was a reaper. He was a reaper just like Spears. A consequence of suicide and a consequence Ciel laughed at as he sat at his desk and slit his own throat to keep his demon butler from taking his soul.

Normally Ciel would never go back on his word but after the sick and twisted torture Sebastian had put him through, he decided the demon would never have the pleasure of consuming his perfectly seasoned soul. And so he hatched the quick and dirty plan of requesting his favorite treats as a last request and during their preparation, he would end his life. Sebastian never saw it coming. Even at the young earl’s worst, he wasn’t one to go back on his word, except for this one and final time.

William was not amused by the sudden realization, nor the ever growing smirk on Ciel’s face at that very moment.  “I wouldn’t be so smug. You need to watch your back as you are still weak. Michaelis may very well be out to get you.”

Ciel just shrugged his shoulders like he didn’t have a care in the world anymore. “So, let him try. I’m a reaper now and just as powerful as him!”

Spears took a step forward, getting a little too close for comfort. “You are an idiot.”

That statement irked the former young lord.

“Don’t you dare call me an idiot!  I’ve seen demons and reapers fight and I know…” Spears put his hand flatly up in the air to halt the looming tirade.

“NO, you do not know anything. You are weak. You have nothing on me or even that nuisance Grell. You aren’t even trained yet and you think you will be just fine if that damn demon does come after you?!”  The elder reaper was getting a bit aggravated at the haughty boy in front of him.

“I know what he’s capable of!” Ciel shouted, having to look up in order to lock eyes with Spears.

William gritted his teeth and bent forward, as if to scold a naughty child.

“You only think you know! You think it was bad when you were human? He had to be careful. He couldn’t let you die so he didn’t cause any severe wounds. Just think what he’ll do when you have a body that can heal itself! You have no idea the almost mortal wounds we can endure. He just has to make them just short of fatal and you’ll keep healing over and over again!”

Ciel started to laugh right in the other reapers face.

“Ha! ‘Mortal wounds. Fatal.’ We are already dead, or have you forgotten that?”

Spears sighed and straightened his glasses. “You are trying my patience boy. We cannot die as a human dies but what do you think happens to our souls when our divine bodies fail to heal?”

Ciel was silent. He never thought of that before, about what happens. He remembered that Grell was terrified of Sebastian killing him but never thought of why he was so afraid. William took the earl’s silence as a queue to go on.

“We go to hell.”

“What!?” the younger questioned.

“Yes, Phantomhive, reapers go to hell if their divine bodies cannot heal and in a sense die. Our souls cannot stay attached to our current form if it is damaged beyond our healing capabilities. We go to hell because we committed a grave sin, suicide, and this was our one chance to redeem ourselves; if we can’t do that then…” The experienced reaper trailed off. He didn’t need to go into detail; the boy got his point.

“I…I…didn’t know that.” Ciel said sheepishly.

“I know you didn’t, that’s why I’m telling you. You had a sad life and you get this chance for redemption. I want you to use it. If you _die_ in this life you will go to hell where that demon will be able to torture you, to own you, for all eternity. Do you want that?”

“Of course I don’t want that! I killed myself to deny him my soul and I don’t plan to just handing it over in this life either.”

Spears put his hand on Ciel’s shoulder and nudged him toward the door of the room.

“Good. Now it is time for you to get your suit, glasses, and training scythe. You have a few months of training and a final to work though before you can receive your custom glasses and upgrade your scythe. I’ll direct you to Administration to get started.”

 _And so it begins._ Ciel thought to himself. It was going to be a hard few months but this was going to be his new life now. He knew what he was getting into, or he thought he did when he slit his own throat, so he may as well man up to it. The former lord put on his determined face and walked out the bedroom door with Spears. He could do this; he didn’t have time to worry about his ex-butler. He needed to learn and get stronger to do his job well and maybe just maybe receive redemption one day.


	2. It's Official

Ciel stood in the middle of the large marble floored room, facing two distinguished looking reapers sitting at a bench with a stack of papers in front of them. He tried not to fidget but it was so hard not to when you are being judged and all eyes are on you. The day had come that his final was being evaluated. The months of training flew by so quickly. He learned a lot about judging souls and how rare it was to judge one worthy of saving. Ciel was surprised he actually enjoyed the training, working with others, no so much, but the training was right in line with his talents. It was like a game and the harder you worked, the more souls you judged, the more you were looked on as a valuable member of the dispatch society. There was a wall in the grand hall with pictures of the “Employee of the Year” from past years and the boy knew he would be the one winning that award, several times in a row if he could. He loved games after all.

“Mr. Phantomhive.” One of the judges spoke, bringing the new reaper back to reality.

Ciel cleared his throat. “Yes sir?”

“We’ve reviewed all your training reports, written tests, and your final, which consisted of judging your first soul. Your overall results are as follows…”

“Practical skills: A.”

“Written exams: A.”

“Ethics: C.”

“Despite the unfortunate low score on the ethics, not to mention your inability to work well with others, you have passed with an overall average of an A-. Congratulations Mr. Phantomhive, you are now a fully-fledged reaper and are wholly responsible for all that title entails.”

The former lord was not happy about the “C” but considering he passed he wasn’t that upset. He was a little irritated as to why he received the low marks however. The doomed person tried to bribe him with money and when that didn’t work he pushed his younger daughter toward the reaper and offered her life instead. Ciel got furious and called the man a ‘despicable excuse for a human’ and since he would stoop so low as to offer his daughter’s life in place of his own, he couldn’t possibly be of worth to the world and Ciel was very close to making his death extremely painful. Thankfully the reaper that was testing as well stopped Ciel before he could ruin his chances of passing.

The newly minted official reaper, Ciel Phantomhive, was dismissed from the proceedings. He bowed deeply to the men at the desk, thanked them, and turned to walk out of the pristine building.

“Oh, and Phantomhive.”

Ciel turned to the higher ranking reaper, still at his desk.

“Do not let your anger get to you again while on the job. Be thankful your test mate stopped you from ruining your second chance. We will be watching you. Good day.”

“Of course sirs.” The boy bowed again and left the room before they could admonish him once more.

* * *

 

William T. Spears was waiting outside the large metal and glass doors of the building when Ciel stepped outside.

“Well Phantomhive…are you officially one of us now?” Spears asked.

“Ha, of course I passed! Now can I please get rid of this scythe?”

“What? That one is just too heavy for you hmm?” The older reaper chided.

“No, it’s just…just…awkward! I don’t like it!” Ciel huffed as he hated being called out on his weakness, despite being a reaper.

“Don’t worry Ciel. I know scythes are much heavier than their human world counterparts. I will make sure you will get one you can handle with ease.”

“Don’t make fun of me William.”

William rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t. I was merely stating a fact. Now, let’s go get your official reaper attire shall we?”

* * *

 

A group of administrative staff crowded the doors to the outfitting department in the Admin building. Spears was getting agitated fast as Ciel was getting fitted and Spears need to tell him where to go next to get his glasses and these women were all blocking the entrance.

“Ladies, please excuse me! Don’t you all have jobs to do?!” Spears scolded.

All the women gathered turned to look at Spears with a saddened expression. One of the women spoke up, unafraid of William’s possible rath.

“I’m sorry Mr. Spears. We are on break and one of the other girls saw Ciel getting fitted. We had to see!”

One of the other women also piped in with a giggle. “Yes, we just wanted a quick peek. I think Ronald will have a rival with how handsome Ciel looks from the glimpse we got!”

“Ladies, if you don’t move this instant I’m going to have to report you for causing a scene.” William said.

The sounds of ‘Awww.’ and ‘You’re no fun.’ could be heard as the gaggle of women dispersed and walked passed the ever strict reaper.

William walked into the outfitters and found the fitting room Ciel’ was just coming out of, dressed in his brand new official reaper’s suit.

“You were causing a scene out there you know.” William informed.

“Hmm? A scene, why?” Ciel inquired.

“Apparently women are fawning over you and your new attire. It’s a standard suit, nothing to get excited about.” the older said.

Ciel just grinned. The former earl was used to people wanting to meet him but the women’s attentions felt different and it made him feel good.

Ciel turned around to look into the mirror on the wall just to see what all the fuss was about. He quickly realized that, though the suit was almost entirely standard issue, it did have one customized piece. The jacket and pants were the standard coal black, the shirt was the pleated long sleeve button down the front shirt, the shoes were black tie loafers, but the tie was the most beautiful royal blue with a distinguished herringbone pattern and the contrast made the whole outfit pop.

Ciel Phantomhive looked good, really good. He no longer looked like a little boy, but a handsome, albeit very short, young man.

“Wow.” Is all Ciel could think to say. He never really stopped to appreciate how he looked before but now that he saw it, he was pretty pleased with himself.

William handed him a small black box and asked him to open it. Ciel eyed him questioningly.

“Spears, we hardly know each other. It’s just too soon.” Ciel joked. It was the very first time he actually felt comfortable enough to let his constantly hidden playful side come out in this realm.

“Oh ha ha. Just open the box.” Spears said. “Honestly.”

Ciel opened the black box and in the satin inner folds laid his gorgeous family heirloom ring, the Phantomhive ring with the giant emerald cut sapphire in the middle.

“You…you…kept it for me!?” Ciel asked, stunned. He never thought he would see his ring again and with everything that happened and the whirlwind that ensued he didn’t think to ask where it went. Ciel was sure that it was left behind on his mortal body but apparently William removed it at some point or went back to get it.

William nodded affirmatively. “You may not be an earl anymore, but you are still a Phantomhive. That ring has been in your family for generations; it saw your grandfather’s, father’s, and your own deaths. Now it can be there for your new life as well.”

“Thank you. Thank you for thinking of this for me. I always thought you hated me.” Ciel said.

“I hated what you had become due to that demon. You were…are…a child, even if you don’t want to believe it, and you were impressionable. Anyway, on to getting your glasses, yes?”

Ciel shook his head yes and then both walked toward the exit, heading for the spectacle department.

* * *

 

William took the newly made glasses from the case and handed them to Ciel. The glasses were a perfect fit and the perfect color. It was said that the spectacles maker never made a mistake and with Ciel’s pair it was true; he couldn’t have asked for a more suited pair. The glasses he was given were, of course, a deep sapphire blue with rectangular metal frames. With the pop of color on his glasses, tie, and ring, he looked like a sophisticated and rich businessman. Ciel wondered if he ever looked this good when he was alive, he doubted he ever did. He felt older and better than his former self. He was the same yet different.

“Ciel” Spears said to get his attention. “You are missing one critical item before you are set with all you need to be a full functioning member of this society. So, here is your customized death scythe.” William handed Ciel a medium sized box, only big enough for about a ream of copy paper.

Ciel took the box and looked back at William. It was a very small box to be able to hold a death scythe. Ronald had a lawnmower, Grell had the chainsaw and William had the pruning stick; all were much larger than this small box. Opening the box, Ciel found a pair of dark blue soft leather gardening gloves.

“Gloves?” He asked Spears. “Really, is this some kind of hazing joke? What am I to do with gardening gloves?!”

“Phantomhive, those are no ordinary gardening gloves. Those are fitted with metal inserts along the top and knuckles, akin to weighted knuckle gloves. They will be your weapon and death scythe and are deadly just as my or anyone elses scythe. I told you, I would find something you can handle.” William said with a slight grin.

“Right, thanks.” Ciel said. “At least I don’t have to worry about someone trying to take my death scythe since I am literally wearing it.”

“Yes well, you are welcome. Now that you are completely equipped with what you need, you may have free time for the rest of the day. Tomorrow your first shift will start. I don’t like the idea, but you will be on your own. Apparently you made quite an impression with the inability to work well with others since you kept going off on your own to reap souls, among other things. So, be careful and good luck Phantomhive.”

With that William excused himself to finish up some dreaded paperwork and allowed Ciel to do as he wished. Ciel decided he needed to go over paperwork and then nap after all the information he had to take in during the day. Before he went for his uniform fitting, he was given a “to die list” to get familiar with and he still wasn’t sure where all the death locations were in his patrol area. Putting on his new gloves, which fit like a dream, he started walking toward the housing units to prepare for his first official day of work.


	3. How the Years Fly By

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy late Thanksgiving to those that were celebrating this past week!
> 
> I am very Thankful for all you readers out there. I wouldn't be writing if it wasn't for you guys! <3

 

* * *

 

Ciel strolled into the grand foyer of the Reaper Society’s Admin building, smug and full of himself. An aggravated looking Ronald Knox was tapping his foot, holding what looked to be a newspaper in his hand; waiving it in the air nonchalantly.

“Well, well, it looks like you got me you little....”

“Aw, poor Ronald. Don’t be a sore loser; what’s a little competition between colleagues right?” Ciel said with the biggest grin ever.

“Whatever. I’ve already cleared it with management. I’ll cover your shift tonight since you won.”

“Yes, I did! Look over there.” Ciel pointed to the ever growing ‘Employee of the Year’ wall. “See, they are already putting my little plaque up. Tenth year in a row now, isn’t it?”

Ronald signed and grumbled. “Well it won’t be an eleventh next year.”

“Are you challenging me again? You really _do_ like overtime, don’t you!?”

“No, no more challenging you, _my lord_.” Ronald said sarcastically.

Ciel just laughed and patted the other on the back. “Thanks man, I could use a day off. See ya later ok?”

“Ya, ya, Ciao! Catch you later.” Ronald jogged off down the hall.

Ciel just shook his head, amused. It was always fun to make a bet with Ronald because for some reason he could never back down, even though he would always lose. Walking the opposite way down the hall, Ciel thought of all the awards he’d earned and how ten whole years had already passed without a hitch.

* * *

 

It had been ten years since Ciel Phantomhive died. The years passed quickly and slowly at the same time. For a while Ciel was always looking over his shoulder, jumping at the slightest sound when he was working alone. As the years passed he became more confident in his skills and the fear inside him seemed to slowly vanish. William was worried that Sebastian would come for him, but that never happened. He never heard a thing from his past servant. As stupid as it sounded, he was slightly sad at that thought. Why, he didn’t know. He and Sebastian shared some great years in the beginning, but he guessed that when you break a promise the way he did, the demon didn’t want to even see his face. He was also lucky for it though, because as strong as Ciel was, he still wasn’t as strong as an older demon bent on revenge. His strength and competence as a reaper was all thanks to William. If it wasn’t for the older reaper’s strict training, he still wouldn’t be able to hurt fly. Spears ended up being an unexpected friend in this new life.

Over the past decade William and Ciel formed a bond, a most unlikely friendship due to their past encounters. Spears trained the former lord to be one of the best and most efficient reapers in the society and he was very proud of him. Ciel looked up to William; they didn’t always see eye to eye but they respected each other enough to know when to quit and agree to disagree. William still hated overtime but Ciel enjoyed it for the most part since he hated the idle mind. Being able to reap souls allowed Ciel to get out and accomplish personal set goals, while allowing William to avoid any overtime due to all the work being completed on time. The two reapers seemed to balance each other out in a way.

“Phantomhive, where are you headed at this hour?” Spears asked as Ciel passed him walking up the stairs to the third floor of the building.

Turning around Ciel replied, “Heading to the Library of Archives. I finished my shift early.”

William had a pained look at his face. “Ciel… are you sure? Are you sure you want to go in there?”

“It’s been over ten years now since their deaths. It is about time I find out what really happened. I’m tired of wondering what was a lie and what was true.”

“If you’re absolutely sure you are ready for what you may find…” Spears pushed his glasses up and looked at the younger reaper.  …“Then I won’t stop you.”

William continued his descent down the stairs, mentioning, “I’ll be in the common area filling out paperwork if you need me.” as he waved a goodbye in the air.

* * *

 

There they were. The cinematic records of Vincent Phantomhive and Rachel Phantomhive sitting on the long desk in the library, in front of Ciel. He just sat there and stared at them for a while, wondering if he really wanted to know his parents’ entire life story. He decided he didn’t want to know everything, it just felt too private, and opened each to when he was born. The former earl took a deep breath and began to read his mother’s first and then would follow with his father’s.

Ciel sat in the library, hours after he had arrived, and just stared at the books on the table. He had read both, starting from his birth and what he read disgusted him. He was not upset with his parents, but himself. He saw how he acted as a child and it made him sick to his stomach. Not only that, but there were other things brought to light that he didn’t know.

The reaper found that he was such a spoiled and sometimes mean child. He was all sweet and innocent looking at the parties his father took him to, but as soon as the party was over, he was a terror. If he didn’t get what he wanted he would scream, kick, hit, and punch until he got what he wanted. He would wail until he had trouble breathing. Rachel, his poor mother, would do whatever she could to soothe the boy, but in the end, she would give him whatever he wished. His mother loved him so much and was sure his misbehaving would ease as he grew up. Ciel loved his mother, she was always so sweet to him, even when he was royally misbehaving and causing the servants to have a break down.

Vincent, his father, loved Ciel very much as well. However, he was not around much. The haughty boy thought throwing a fit would make his father bend to his little will, just as it did his mother, but that was a harder nut to crack. His father would tend to leave when Ciel was throwing a fit, so the boy started throwing his toys and other things at his father to get his attention. Ciel sobbed and sobbed and threw fits every time his father had to leave. The poor boy just wanted his father’s love, but he didn’t know how to ask properly so he threw fits. Ciel would grab onto his father’s leg for dear life, hoping that he would not leave again. Rachel would come rushing in and pry the boy from his father’s pant leg.

Both parents were exhausted with the boy. Rachel was having a harder time controlling him with her ill health and Vincent’s watchdog missions were becoming more frequent. It was one night, when Ciel was finally asleep that Rachel sat Vincent down and had a heart to heart talk with him. She told him that Ciel’s fits were getting worse and that she could not control him any longer due to his increasing violence.

Rachel told her husband that he needed to think about resigning from the Queen’s service if he wanted his child to grow up to be a functioning member of society. She didn’t give him an ultimatum out right, but stressed that his son was not ok and the boy needed his father to show him love, to teach him the things he’ll need when he grows up; not just a sickly mother with a few servants. He needed both his parents…he needed his father.

Vincent loved his son, dearly. He thought he was doing the right thing by working more and doing what the Queen asked in order to continue to provide for his family. The man never thought he would be doing more harm by being away. Vincent was very smart and could acquire a less stressful job easily, yet, there was no precedence for a Queen’s watchdog resigning his position…ever. Still the man knew he had to try and decided to go to the Queen the next day to request a release from the position.

The Queen was not accepting of the resignation. She informed Vincent that a watchdog does not resign; a watchdog was for life and it has been all through the Phantomhive line. Vincent pleaded with the Queen, he told her of his ill wife and troubled son. The earl even offered to find a replacement to fill his position, someone that would be just as loyal. The Queen had none of it and was angry that the earl even had the nerve to ask to resign. Vincent was dismissed from her royal presence and told to ‘find your head, before you lose it’ and not to disrespect her majesty again with foolish notions.

After Vincent left, the Queen gathered her advisors regarding the watchdog’s insolence. Her Majesty decided that she could not have her watchdog off his leash and if he would dare try and resign due to an errant child, what else would he do if his family asked. She needed a strong, obedient dog, not one that is ruled by his woman and child. The Queen then sent orders to have some low-lifes destroy the Phantomhive manor and all that reside in it. On the outside, it would be a tragic event, but in the underworld, it would be a warning…a warning that no one, not even the watchdog, crosses the Queen.

The remainder of the record consisted of the details of his parent’s deaths. He skimmed through it; not wanting to have the awful images burned into his mind, but at the end, when the reaper appeared is when it really got his attention. A rush of emotions hit the boy all at once.  What he read was surprising and a little hurtful. Ciel got up out of his chair, returned the books to their proper place and marched out of the library, slamming the door as he exited.

* * *

 

“Spears!” Ciel yelled as he entered the common area.

William looked up from his paperwork and pushed his glasses up with one finger. He started to stand while Ciel stomped loudly, heading right for him.

“Why didn’t you tell me!?” Ciel huffed.

“Ciel, I…” Spears stammered, but he was at a loss for words.

“You should have told me it was you! You should have told me you were the one to collect their souls!”

“Ciel, I…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to bring up the painful memories. Look, not here, lets go into my office and we can talk.”

“Well, lead the way then, before I lose it right here!” Ciel barked.

The pair went to Spear’s office. William locked the door while rubbing his temples.

“Sit, please…”

Ciel sat down but didn’t look happy about it.

“I cannot believe you didn’t tell me you took their souls! And what my mother said! Her dying words!”

Spears took off his glasses and cleaned them nervously. “I didn’t want to upset you. I couldn’t do anything. I am so sorry Ciel.”

A tear slid down Ciel’s face. The younger reaper jumped up. “Goddammit Spears! Her dying words as she reached out for _you_ were, ‘Please, save my son. Protect my son!’ And you did _nothing_!”

William reached for Ciel but the younger just slapped his hand away.

“Ciel, you know we, as reapers, cannot interfere. We cannot do anything besides collect the souls. We do our jobs, nothing else. We _cannot_ interfere with the lives of humans. You know this.”

Sniffling, Ciel shook his head and flopped back down into the chair. “I know, god I know. I just…I just wish you’d have told me. If…if you weren’t so strict on rules and regulations, maybe…maybe I wouldn’t have gone to that place, maybe I could have been saved and all this, my whole retched life wouldn’t have happened as it did.”

Spears kneeled and embraced Ciel in a crushing hug. The younger shrugged but didn’t pull away. Both quietly shed some tears. Spears remembered that night all too clearly and wished he could have done something to save the person that was now his friend. Ciel knew in his heart that Spears couldn’t have done anything without severe consequences, but that didn’t make the records findings any less painful.

“I need to go. I need to clear my head. I’m going to take my shift tonight. Tell Ronald that he can take tomorrow’s shift ok?” Ciel asked.

“Are you in any condition to work tonight?” Spear wiped his eyes and sighed. “Never mind. I know, no matter what I say, it won’t sway you. So, be careful alright?”

“I always am.” Ciel confirmed.

“Still friends?” Spears asked as he stuck out his right hand to shake on it.

The younger reaper sighed. “Ya, still friends, glasses.” And Ciel chuckled, trying to get his mind in a better place.

William smiled a rare smile and slightly bowed. He thought for a few minutes that he had ruined their friendship. “I’ll let you to it then. See you tomorrow, on your day off Phantomhive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one ended up a lot of build up. I wanted to emphasize how William and Ciel's friendship is getting along.
> 
> *Someone* may make an appearance very soon! :D


	4. Meeting

The air outside in the human world was brisk and wet while the young reaper worked through his “to die list.” The previous soul he reaped was an awful one. A young child ran out in front of a carriage and the driver did not have time to stop with the damp roads. Ciel was used to most manners of death but he never got used to having to reap the souls of children. The images still in his mind irked him and didn’t help his mood one bit. He already started the shift agitated with what he found in his parent’s cinematic records and now he had to deal with a child’s death as well. It was going to be a long night.

You could always tell when winter time was upon the human realm, there were always more freezing and starving deaths on the books. One after the other, Ciel collected more and more souls of mostly the young and old. If it wasn’t starving or freezing, then it was most likely an accident of some kind. The reaper looked down his list of soul collections that he still had to do and decided to get the night over with and challenge himself. The goal was to get the remaining souls paperwork taken care of within five hours, two hours faster than his shift warranted. Yes, he could do it, he knew it.

* * *

 

The young reaper stopped on a rooftop in an affluent district and pulled out his pocket watch. It had been four hours and thirty minutes and he had one more soul to reap. He was cutting it close but a smile crept on his face. _I am Ciel Phantomhive_ , he thought to himself. _Two more hours of free time here I come._ Putting his watch away, Ciel made the leap from the roof down to the walkway of a very large manor. According to the list, the man to die was a noble in his 40s, obese and sedentary; he was due to die of a heart attack. Quickly the reaper entered in the front door, which opened into a large foyer.

The foyer was beautiful with carved railing on the stairs, polished hardwood flooring, and marble accents around the room. The hall reminded the previous lord of his own manor, yet not as magnificent of course. Strolling through the large hall and entering in a drawing room and then a sitting room, he found no one. Ciel’s head whipped to the right when he heard a loud crash and some groaning.

“Right on time.” Ciel said to himself as he made his way toward the groaning noises.

Upon entering a luxurious office, he found the noble on the floor rolling about and clutching his chest. The cinematic record started rolling just as Ciel entered. He pushed up his sapphire blue glasses, pulled out his notebook with the man’s information, and concentrated on the record that was playing. He was a little off from rushing through the others’ paperwork, he still did his duty but he rushed too fast even by his standards. His eyes were starting to ache. He was so absorbed in the record and rubbing his eyes behind his glasses that he didn’t hear the door opening behind him.

“Master Fontaine!” a young woman yelled as she entered the room and threw herself down next to the fallen noble.

The sudden sound of her voice made Ciel jump a little. He should have been aware that the young lady was coming up behind him. He watched as the young lady, a servant obviously, grabbed a pillow and put it behind the man’s head.

“Sir, you’re going to be alright! I’ll go phone a doctor. I’ll… I’ll go get some water.” She said before she rose to her feet and stumbled out the door in a hurry.

Ciel knelt down next to the dying man.

“I’m sorry, a doctor and water will not help you now. It is your time.” The reaper said to the man, still clutching his chest, though his grasp weaker this time.

Ciel finished watching the record and wrote down a few notes in the man’s file. “Nothing of significance; time of death 2:43am.” Retrieving the Completed stamp out of his pocket, he stamped the file and pulled the record from the man with his reaper gloves, thus ending his life at exactly 2:43.

The young reapers shift was now officially over. As he rose from the body, a sudden stabbing pain struck him in the chest. The burning was intense; it was almost like he himself was having a heart attack! His hands went directly to his chest.

“Gah, what…!? Burning…it burns!!!” he screamed.

Removing his hands from his chest and looking down he discovered his gloves were covered in blood. There were four black spikes sticking through his chest. He started to panic and fell forward onto the body of the, now deceased, nobleman.

Ciel’s breathing got shallower and he groaned in extreme pain. The spikes suddenly disappeared from his chest, exiting through his back. It was as if the spikes had affected his entire being, it was difficult to move but he managed to turn his body and head to the left enough to see where the spikes had gone, or more likely, where they had come from.

What he saw shocked him.

“What? What is…” he coughed violently, blood accumulating on his lips. “Why, why did you do this!?”

Standing behind him was the young woman, the servant that rushed out earlier to phone a doctor and get water. Her right hand was soaked with blood and it was running down her arm as she had her fingers up to her mouth, licking them.

The woman just stared at him, a grin on her face wide; it showed off her pearly white teeth. It was an eerie sight since the woman looked so innocent, yet obviously not. Ciel’s head was spinning, it was getting hard to breathe and the wounds seemed to not be healing as they should. In all his years, human or reaper, he had never felt the pain that was coursing through him at that moment. The fire in his chest was growing and spreading outward to his limbs.

“Poor reaper. Are you in pain?” the woman asked tauntingly. “I thought a reaper was supposed to be more powerful and able to heal much more quickly than a human. You look like a pitiful little boy, a pitiful human, just as you did before. Except now, you have no one to swoop in and save you…do you?”

Ciel sucked in a ragged breath and spoke through his dry throat. “Who are you? … What did you do? I’m not healing! Why!? Agrh. Why!!!???”

The woman stalked closer to the downed reaper. “So many questions boy. I’m surprised you can still speak, but you were always a stubborn one weren’t you?”

Wracking his brain, Ciel couldn’t remember ever running into this woman and didn’t know why she was torturing him now.  He knew that he didn’t have much time, he still wasn’t healing and now he felt his extremities start to go numb. Numb was better than the fiery pain, but not good for being able to defend yourself.

“What do you want?” he asked again. “Who are you? I demand to know!”

The young woman sighed. “I’m surprised you don’t know. Hmm, is it because of the form I’ve taken? Here, let me help you…”

With that a dark cloud consumed the woman’s form. The middle of the room was so dark Ciel couldn’t see through the smoke. Black feathers trickled down and fell on the floor beneath the swirling cloud. The reaper was not one to ever back down but now he was at this being’s mercy and seeing the feathers made his insides run cold. It couldn’t be, not now, after all this time. Ciel tried to scoot away from the now dissipating dark cloud but it was no use. He couldn’t move.

The dark cloud fully cleared and in the woman’s place stood a raven haired, butler; smirking with jagged teeth. Red eyes burned with delight as they set upon the boy of a reaper, lying helpless on the floor.

Ciel Phantomhive was a proud person and a prouder reaper, but in this time of terror his first thought upon laying eyes on his past butler, no, his past torturer was: _This is it. I am going to die, for good this time._

* * *

 

“Seb…Sebastian! You bastard! What did you do!? No, don’t you dare come closer! I’ll kill you!!!” Ciel screamed at the top of his lungs. It was a futile attempt, he knew that. He was helpless, no one was around, and Sebastian had murder in his eyes.

“Ah, my young master. No, you won’t kill me.” The butler laughed. “Not like that you won’t; not when you aren’t healing.”

The demon stalked closer and knelt by the now paralyzed reaper and stroked his dark grey hair. It was not a soothing gesture, but a mocking one. In a soft velvety voice Sebastian whispered into the reaper’s ear.

“Did you think I forgot what you did to me my lord?”

Tears pricked Ciel’s eyes. It was not how he wanted to make his last stand but he couldn’t control anything right now.

“Oh no…you did exactly what I wanted you to. You let down your guard. You felt safe in your thought that I had moved on and forgotten the master that stole the most prime soul from me.”

“I..I..” Ciel stuttered, not being able to form full words.

“Shhh, master. I’m not going to kill you. I’m not even going to hurt you…” Sebastian stabbed his finger into one of the holes in Ciel’s chest and the boy let out a gargling scream, blood flowed out of his mouth. “…much anyway.”

“If I want to play with you more; however, I cannot let you die here. You aren’t healing because my talons were tipped with liquid brimstone, straight from hell. It does wonders on divine beings; allows the body to stop healing and paralyze them. Of course, you know this now.”

“How does it feel to be powerless? Powerless, like how I felt when you ripped your promised soul out of my grasp.”

Ciel could only grunt.

Sebastian rose up, standing above young Phantomhive, and slashed his own wrist wide open. The demon’s blood poured all over the reaper’s still body and face.

“Drink it if you want to live. Demon’s blood counteracts the poison in your system. That’s why it’s so effective, once it enters a divine being, nothing can cure you but a demon’s blood…nothing.”

Ciel kept his mouth shut. If he was going to die, it may as well be now instead of being tortured first.

“Open your mouth Phantomhive and drink the blood or I’ll force it open and put something else in there for you to choke on before I force feed you the blood!” the ex-butler boomed.

Reluctantly, Ciel opened his mouth enough for the blood to drip into it and he swallowed. He swallowed mouthfuls until he started to feel the numbness fading. He coughed and choked, the taste was the most disgusting thing he’d ever tasted.

“Good boy. You and I are going to have some fun and then you are going to surrender that soul of yours, MY soul, to me.”

“No, never, I will nev…” Ciel started to speak but stopped in mid-sentence. The door to the room slammed open, the sound echoing off walls.

“Get away from him you damn demon!” William shouted.

“I knew I sensed a handsome man around here, Sebast-chan!” Grell squealed.

Spears and Sutcliff burst into the room, death scythes raised.

“Ciel, are you alright!?” William asked, hoping that they weren’t too late.

Ciel mumbled out a “ya” and put his head down. He could feel the poison subsiding but he wasn’t near strong enough to get up.

“Still couldn’t keep your hands off the brat after all this time, hmmm Sebby?” Grell inquired with a sharp toothy grin.

“He is mine reapers. He was always mine. The debt he owes is to me and he will pay it.” Sebastian smoothly informed the two reapers.

“You don’t want to fight two reapers do you? You will lose. If we aren’t back within five minutes, the society is sending all the reapers on duty to our location. Leave, now. We do not want to fight. We want to help our colleague.”

“Fine, take him.” Sebastian turned to Ciel, still on the ground. “But remember this my dear master…I will be watching. I will be waiting. You will give me what I am due.”

Feathers and black smoke filled the room and when it dispersed, Sebastian was gone.

Spears ran to Ciel.

“Thank god we got a notice that all reapers had to work over time tonight due to a natural disaster that is about to happen up north. Grell and I came to inform you before we headed there.”

William picked the younger reaper up and had Grell open a portal to their realm. You will be fine Ciel. Just try and stay calm. We’re taking you back to Administration immediately. The reapers entered the portal and it disappeared just as it had appeared, in a flash.


	5. A Time to Heal

Liquid brimstone does a dark number on a divine being’s body. After Ciel was taken to the reaper’s dimension he was looked over by the top specialists in upper management. It had to be determined if he would be able to resume his duties as a reaper or if this unfortunate event would mean he would be unable to fulfill his responsibilities. While in wait for the verdict the young reaper lay in his bed, staring off into space, despondent. He’d been back in their realm for a week and he still didn’t feel like he used to, he still didn’t feel normal.

The human’s equivalent to a doctor entered his room to give him the results of the tests and findings. Previously Ciel was poked and prodded, blood tested for toxicity, and limbs stretched and kneaded to determine lingering numbness.

“Mr. Phantomhive, I know you do not wish to be treated like a child, so I will not give you the results like one. Do you understand?”

Ciel continued to stare into space but slightly nodded affirmatively, noting he understood what the older reaper meant. Nothing was going to be sugar coated if the news wasn’t good.

The aging reaper cleared his throat. “All the blood test results have indicated that the poison is still lingering in your system. Being a reaper should have meant that your healing abilities would rid yourself of the poison within a short time, but now being a week, that may not happen. I’m sorry, but it seems that your ability to heal has been compromised as well as your strength.”

The older reaper moved to the side the Ciel’s bed and sad down, careful not to startle him.

“Again, I’m so sorry.” The older put his hand on Ciel’s shoulder as a comforting gesture. “I’ve spoken to the higher ups and you’ll still be able to reap souls, but you will have to be with a partner at all times. You will not be able to heal as you once did, the process will be much slower. I hope that within time the lingering shaking in your hands will subside when you regain full feeling in them.”

Ciel turned toward the other; his face was so tired looking, worn out, and red from past tears.

“So- so I’m like a human again? Pitiful, weak…useless…”

“You aren’t useless and this wasn’t your fault. You were attacked remember?”

The boy sniffled and spoke with a sharp tone. “How can you say it wasn’t my fault? If I wasn’t so set on screwing over a demon and playing with fire, this wouldn’t have happened. I’d be dead, in sweet nothingness maybe, but not here- here having to have someone feed me because my hands won’t stop shaking. It’s humiliating.”

The reaper doctor sighed empathetically. “It’s not really your fault, but I know you won’t listen to me. Be thankful he didn’t kill you. Be thankful that you aren’t in hell right now being ripped apart and then put back together to do it all over again.”

“YOU don’t get it!” Ciel shouted, a little louder than he meant to. “If he wanted to kill me, he would have! You don’t know him. _I do._ He wanted this. He wanted me to suffer, to never be able to fully forget him and the pain he caused. I’ve always been one for games, dangerous games, but this time- this time I went up against one far better at games than I. He was toying with me this whole time, all these years, and I’m losing. Just...please go. Leave me be.”

“I understand. I- I’ll go now and leave you to your thoughts then. Do you want me to send for William?” The doctor asked.

“No, I don’t want to see him either.”

“You cannot be upset with him forever about taking your parents souls and not telling you. You realize he was trying to protect you and not bring up such a painful memory as it would only hurt you.”

“Please just go and leave me alone.”

“Very well then; take care Phantomhive.” He older said as he exited Ciel’s quarters.

The frustrated reaper wasn’t really mad at William, he was just mad at the world. It was an unfortunate circumstance that he had been taking it out on William a little. The aggravation regarding the cinematic records still lingered, but mostly Ciel was over it. It was just convenient to let everyone think that, that was why he was so standoffish, rather than giving them the truth…he was afraid- afraid of what the future may hold.

The young reaper just wanted to be alone to try and work through things in his head. The past years went by great and things were looking up for his future at the dispatch society and now this. Once again Sebastian has hurt him. He wondered if he’d ever truly get away from the demon. He knew better than to let down his guard, even after ten years, but his stubbornness got the best of him. Ciel didn’t have the seemingly loyal servant/master bond anymore, he didn’t have the protection of a contract, not that it did any good, and now he didn’t have his full abilities. It all made for dangerous game and now he was the prey left defenseless in front of a hungry wolf. However, Ciel’s will was unshakable and he refused to stay in his room, safe in the reaper realm, for the rest of his days. He would not let this setback destroy him.

* * *

 

The freshly brewed tea in the meeting area smelled wonderful. William requested a meeting to discuss upcoming reaper reviews and new procedures regarding paperwork handling. Grell already had the talk since he was the cause of the new guidelines due to months of paperwork that was found and “accidentally” forgotten to be turned in by the fiery red-haired reaper.

Spears was already waiting at a table with two steaming cups of tea at the ready.

Ciel carefully walked to the table and sat down across from his senior and friend.

“You know me too well…fresh tea with honey, perfect!”

“You are quite welcome. I know you’ve been trying to keep busy while trying to get back in the swing of things, so I apologize for interrupting your physical therapy.”

“It’s ok. I need a break. I can feel that I get tired faster now.” Ciel reached for the steaming cup.

William reached out for the cup as well, in a silent bid to help if needed.

“No, I can get it.” Ciel said.

The younger slowly picked up the cup with both hands; the trembling was slight, but noticeable. The cup was lifted to his lips and a large burning sip was taken. It was the best tea he’d had in a while. The cup’s journey to his lips was shaky but successful. The descent down back to the table however was not. Ciel’s hand jerked suddenly on the way down and the warm brown liquid spilled on the center of his chest.

“Ah, Hot!” Ciel yelped. The cup was harshly put down on the table, more liquid spilling from the force.

William jumped up and immediately moved to dab at the soaked shirt with the napkins that were on the table. Embarrassed, Ciel batted him away but the older would not budge and continued to try and soak up as much brown liquid as possible.

“Stop, stop. This is unnecessary. You’re embarrassing me Spears!” Ciel quietly scolded; face getting redder by the second while the other reapers in the room turned to see what the commotion was.

“I do apologize, but that tea was scorching. How badly did you burn yourself?” William asked in concern.

“It’s fine. I’ve been through worse….stupid hands!” the younger said with a huff.

Spears decided that the meeting regarding paperwork handing, which didn’t affect Ciel since he always followed procedure, wasn’t that big of deal anymore. The senior reaper decided he would have the guidelines packet sent to Ciel’s room instead of having a formal meeting. William tried to help Ciel to his room to change clothes but the proud reaper refused. Ciel thanked him for the tea, noting that the sip he _did_ get was fantastic, and they parted ways to go about their daily duties.

* * *

 

It weighed on William deeply that he wasn’t able to save Ciel, not really. Bursting through the door may have saved the other reapers life, but didn’t save his spirit. The quiet, heartless, and scheming Ciel that became a reaper so long ago bloomed into a happy, though competitive, young man, and Spears’ only friend. It seemed that he was regressing ever since he realized he may never get his full strength or abilities back. It was agonizing to watch the boy go downhill so much. There were still times of quick wit and jokes, but he didn’t open himself up as much as he started to do in the first ten years.

Seeing Ciel have a hard time with simple things, like holding a cup, still being an issue after a year of therapy was heartbreaking. William had never seen something be able to hurt a reaper as bad as the brimstone poison did. He had no doubt that if Sebastian hadn’t given him the blood that the consequences would have been much worse, if Ciel survived at all. Demons were despicable creatures but Sebastian Michaelis was definitely one of the most sadistic by William’s standards. Ciel was essentially raised by a demon, a demon that betrayed him, and in turn, made Ciel betray the demon. So much hate and backstabbing in his past and now he had to deal with one more hardship that the demon caused.

William wondered if the boy’s pain would ever end and if he would ever find redemption. As his friend he wanted the dark cloud that had always followed the boy, ever since his parents’ death, to finally leave for good. As he sat there alone he hoped with all his being that this would be the last tragedy Ciel would have to endure and vowed to himself that he would never be the cause of Ciel’s anguish. Little did the stoic reaper know… fate had other plans.


	6. A Choice

 

A soft knock rang out in the quiet of Ciel’s room.

The boy was sitting at his small desk, intently staring at his shaking hands. He was determined to try and will away the shaking. If he could at least stop the shaking then maybe he could learn to become stronger again via sheer willpower. He’d heard there were always so-called miracles in the human realm- not that he truly believed them.

Another knock came from the door. Ciel turned and glared at the door as if it offended him in some way.

“What!?” he yelled with a scowl.

“Ummm…Ciel? It’s William. May I come in?” his only friend asked through the closed door.

“No, I’m busy right now,” was the curt reply.

“Ciel, I’m coming in…” The door opened and William cautiously walked in, glancing around for any objects that may be hurled his way. “I was told you haven’t been to your therapy sessions in weeks. I came to talk to you about it.”

A huff and rolling eyes met the bespectacled man. “Why!? They aren’t helping, so why go?”

Spears walked over and sat on the bed in order to face the annoyed colleague at eye level.

Ever since the tea incident, Ciel’s demeanor had become terrible and outbursts were becoming more frequent. His drive was gone. He did his job but he no longer cared if he was the top reaper. He no longer cared about much of anything anymore. It was a clear sign of depression and sadly there was nothing William could do to help.

 _Being subtle never really worked with the stubborn boy; maybe being harshly direct would help?_   William thought.

Sighing, the older began again. “So you’re giving up on getting better?”

…Silence…

“It pains me to say this but… Ciel, you’re turning into the brat you were when you were human. It is unbecoming and unpleasant to work with.”

William pushed his glasses up and cleared his throat. “No one wants to even talk to you, let alone, work with you anymore. Let me- let _someone_ help you!”

Ciel heard what the other reaper was saying and knew he should be ashamed of his behavior- but he wasn’t. He was being a brat, he knew it, and yet the old part of his personality was straining to come out to protect him from the anguish he was feeling.

“I’m sorry William…”

“It’s ok, Ciel. I can…” William started but was cut off.

“Get out!” Ciel glared, green eyes piercing with distain.

William was speechless; he hadn’t seen this side of Ciel for years and years. It just started resurfacing again the past few months. The harsh and demanding lord was back, that much was apparent, and it was wearing on everyone’s nerves.

The older reaper just shook his head in sadness and got up to leave. As his hand was on the door handle, he turned and gave Ciel an order that he was hoping he wouldn’t have to issue.

“I’m taking over your shift tonight. You are in no condition to judge souls with the attitude you have right now.”

“Fine,” was the curt reply given without an upward glance.

“And…until further notice, you are suspended. Myself or Grell will be taking over your duties. I cannot have you out there like a loose cannon. You are too unstable! Acting rashly or unhinged will get you or someone else killed.”

“Screw you Spears!” was shouted at the door as it slammed shut, leaving the room as silent as it was before the confrontation.

Ciel was pissed. William was his only friend and at that moment, he hated him. His small body started rocking back and forth and he pressed his hands to his head, squeezing it to make the pain stop. Tears rolled down the reddened cheeks. He hated this. He hated being this way, being the ass he used to be- it was sickening. It was like his old personality was taking over and all the progress he made as his time as a reaper was fading away. It felt like he was drowning in a dark abyss.

He didn’t want to go back to being that hateful person, but hate was the only emotion he knew well. Hate was always there for him- when his parents died- when he was tortured- when Sebastian betrayed him. Hate clouded his judgement and he was even more upset when he realized how it was now twisting his feelings regarding William.

 _Just Breathe._ He thought as he closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of his chair. His mind was reeling. Rationally he knew William didn’t mean him harm and yet, his inner voice was telling him the older was a good for nothing bastard. He had to stop thinking. One thing that always helped him zone out was reading. He got up, went to the bathroom, and splashed his face with cold water. Luckily his face wasn’t splotchy from the tears. He inhaled deeply before exiting his room and heading to the library. He _had_ to get his mind off of his downward spiral of emotions.

* * *

 

The library was a comfort. It had large brown leather sofas, shining silver chandeliers, and dark oak tables and chairs. The library contained almost every book one could imagine; it looked like it sprawled on endlessly from the entrance. The young reaper walked the shiny marbled floor back to his favorite section, Mystery, and selected a random book by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle- his favorite author. Ciel found a sofa in a cozy little corner and plopped down to immerse himself in a good story. He hoped that he could get so enthralled with the story that it would transport his mind somewhere- anywhere, but there.

Hours passed as he blocked out the world and became so into the story he was reading that he started to chew on his bottom lip. He was a fast reader and was already about halfway into the large volume. It was getting really good. He was a good distance away from the door so he didn’t even hear the heavy doors open, nor the frantic shuffling of feet headed his way.

“Ciel! Ciel! Where the hell are you! Are you in here?” a raspy yet shrieking voice called out from the distance.

 _Shit._ Someone found him. Worst was, it was Grell that was bellowing from afar. He didn’t want to answer, so he didn’t. The moody reaper just kept his head in his book until the redhead was right in front of him.

“Hey brat! Why didn’t you answer me!?” Grell yelled, obviously annoyed at Ciel’s lack of caring.

 _“I didn’t answer because I didn’t want to be bothered with nonsense,”_ he thought.

Ciel peered up from his book at the seething reaper.

“You’re too damn loud for a library. What do you want!?”

“Grrr! I need your help…NOW!” Grell screeched.

The young Phantomhive was about at the end of his rope. Everything was pissing him off, his emotions were out of whack, he was depressed, and now Grell, of all reapers, just asked for his help. Great, just great.

“Busy.” is the only response Grell received.

“Well you’re about to get un-busy!” Grell said right before smacking the book out of the younger’s hands. The look of shock on Ciel’s face was priceless. His plump lips were shaped in a perfect “O.”

Ciel abruptly stood up, ready to have one hell of a fight with the annoying redhead. “What the fuck Grell!”

“I said I need YOUR help!” Grell started.

“Like I give a shit! Get the hell away from me before I beat your face so badly it is as red as your ugly fucking hair!” Ciel screamed into the other reapers face.

“What! My hair is not ugly you little…!” Grell stepped back and took a breath, concentrating on why he came there in the first place. “ _The issue at hand was much more important than my hair_ ,” he reluctantly thought.

”It’s William, he-he- he’s gone…” the red reaper stopped in mid-sentence when he saw Ciel’s face morph from anger to worry.

Hearing, ‘William’ and ‘gone,’ got Ciel’s attention- immediately.

Grell wasn’t looking for him to waste his time. All the possibilities ran though the young reapers head in a flash. _What could have happened? Why does Grell need me?- Wait, do I even care_? … He shook his head to stop his overreacting mind.

“Ok, what happened?” he managed to get out.

Grell explained that there was an incident while working a scene. William was abducted. The stoic reaper was gone and Ciel was the first person that Grell thought of to help.

“Why are you telling me this Grell?” Ciel asked in a shaky voice.

“What the hell is wrong with you!? You are his friend! You have to help him.” Grell chastised.

“You know there is a rule. If anything happens in the field and you’re stupid enough to get yourself nabbed, you’re a lost cause. The society won’t send anyone.” The younger coldly informed the older.

“I’m not asking the society. I’m asking YOU! You have to help William!”

Ciel was getting agitated. He was still enraged that Spears sidelined him and plus, if Sutcliff wanted the man back so badly, why didn’t he go track the perpetrator down himself?

“Why me? Go find out who took him and where they went yourself.”

Grell looked down at the floor. “Where they went, we cannot go.”

A confused look flashed across the younger’s face. “Huh? What do you mean, ‘we can’t go’?”

Everything flew out of the redhead’s mouth at an astonishing rate.

“A demon and his three cohorts surrounded us. Will couldn’t fight them, we got overrun. They managed to hold me down while they relieved William of his glasses and scythe. The demon said Will would pay for taking his soul away from him… that he would make him suffer the tortures of hell. And then they disappeared.”

Ciel’s face turned ghostly white. “No…no….” He swiped his hand across his face, though his hair. “Was it- was it- ?” The defeated reaper couldn’t even finish his sentence.

“No, he called himself Claude. He blamed poor Will for the loss of a contracted soul.”

Ciel didn’t reply. He was saddened that Spears was attacked and captured by a demon, but that didn’t change the fact that there were rules. William himself was strict with rules, plus, he wouldn’t want to risk any other reapers getting hurt or worse because of him.

“I’m sorry Grell. There isn’t anything I can do.” Ciel finally said, a bit colder than he normally would have if he’d have been in his right mind. “Please, leave me.”

“WHAT!?  You must help him! After everything he’s done for you? He is your mentor and friend! You owe him you little shit!” Grell screamed, not at all trying to keep his composure.

“Yes, he is my friend dammit! But- duh- I’m a reaper too. It’s not like I can just go open up a hell’s gate and waltz right in. Plus, even if I could, you know I’m already weak. You know what a place like that does to divine beings like us; how much it weakens us. I wouldn’t stand a chance against even a minor demon.”

Grell threw up his hands in frustration. William T. Spears had to be saved, one way or the other. The flaming reaper wouldn’t tell Ciel the real reason why it was imperative the other was saved, he couldn’t. The guilt already was eating at him, it would only be worse if he spoke it out loud.

William was being blamed for the demon’s loss of a soul because William was the one working that shift the night the boy died. It was a shift Grell Sutcliff himself was supposed to be working, but Grell didn’t show up that night. So, Grell was the reason that Spears got stuck in this mess essentially.

The soul in question belonged to Earl Alois Trancy. Claude had killed the boy in a fit of anger about the boy’s intentions and then decided the soul was unfit to eat. William collected the soul per his duty right before Claude came back to the body. Apparently the demon left and then returned, having reconsidered the careless waste of a contracted soul. The deed was done however; the demon couldn’t claim a soul that had already been collected by a reaper.

Grell didn’t know why the demon decided to take so long for revenge. But if Grell knew anything from watching humans, it was that the taste for revenge can be powerful and long lasting. Demons must not be much different he concluded.

Sutcliff crossed his arms in a menacing stance, narrowing his eyes at the other. “I know what it does to us! … But you have- _friends_ \- that could get there and recuse him without an issue.” A toothy grin spread across the red reaper’s face.

Ciel stood there and blinked as the wheels in his head tried to process just what the other reaper was implying. When he realized it, the younger’s eyes became as large as saucers.

“NO!- NO!- Are you crazy!?” The young reaper stomped his foot and flung his arms out to the side, palms up, trying to emphasize the idiocy of it all as he continued.

“That is suicide! … You are asking me to go on a suicide mission!!! You are absolutely insane!” Ciel was emotional and irate.

“You owe him kid! William was the only one making sure you kept it together as a reaper!…”

“…Plus, you’ve already committed suicide once… what’s one more time, hmmm?”

Nothing escaped Ciel’s mouth as a response. He was just so shocked at what his fellow reaper was suggesting.

“Can you live the rest of your days knowing you could save your best friend and yet did nothing!?” Grell just kept on going as he knew Ciel wouldn’t be able to stand himself if he knowingly let William die a tortuous death in hell.

“Fuck you Sutcliff!” Ciel turned away from the crimson reaper to hide the tear that escaped his eye.

Grell moved forward to gently rub the younger’s shoulders but it did not feel comforting in the least. “Shhh, it’s ok. You’ll be fine. Just…maybe…surrender that ass of yours for a little bit and you’ll have him doing whatever you want.” Grell knew exactly how to twist the knife.

The young reaper felt sick. Grell had no idea what happened to him before he slit his own throat. If he did, maybe he wouldn’t have so causally said what he said. Yet, knowing Grell… yes, he probably would have anyway.

Ciel Phantomhive felt like a little child again, losing everything he ever had. He hated Grell so much. That bastard wouldn’t lift a finger to help William, but he would offer up Ciel on a silver platter in a heartbeat. The sad thing was… Ciel would do it. As much anger as the boy had for the older reaper previously and even at that moment wasn’t enough to condemn him.

The tears fell freely. “Grell, know this… I won’t come back from this and I may not even be able to save William, but if I do manage it… tell him… “

“… Thank you for everything.”

“Phantomhive, as much as we don’t like each other…well… thank _you_ for saving my _dear_ William.”

“Don’t thank me idiot. I’m not doing this for you!” snapped Ciel.

“And, you _do_ realize that you are asking _me_ to ask- no- beg the same demon I royally fucked over several years ago to help me save a friend of mine, don’t you? I’m sure Sebastian is going to be _delighted_ to help me! Did you forget what he did last time he found me!?“

“No, no one forgot that. We all see the evidence of it every day. How could we forget with your attitude and constant shaking fits? …But, I will hope for the best! God Speed kid. No time to waste!” Grell said with a cackle.

There was no doubt that Grell Sutcliff hated Ciel and always did, but the cold demeanor that the reaper was exuding was hard to bear. Ciel was worth nothing and William was worth everything, at least that’s what the redhead thought.  The ex-lord knew he was worth something because the glimmer of goodness in his heart told him so. That very same glimmer, the hope that William helped instill in him over the years, is what told him that he had to save his mentor…at all costs.

“I- I- let me get my uniform and gloves then. Don’t tell anyone where I’ve gone. I don’t want anyone trying to stop me.”

“I need to leave now, who knows how long it will take to find the damn demon and William is probably already being tortured,” stammered Ciel. He was shaking. He was scared.

“Where will you go first?” Grell asked.

“I can only think of one place Sebastian may be….my old mansion. I’m headed to London.”

There was sadness in his voice. “Goodbye Grell.”

“Chances are- I won’t see any of you again. I just hope I can get William out of this alive- he doesn’t deserve to be in hell. … I do.”

Ciel walked past Grell and out of the library without a backward glance. He knew what he had to do, even though it was against the rules and would most likely cost him his life as a reaper. Even with his deepening depression and bubbling hatred of everything, he still knew that he couldn’t just forget William and leave him to be dismembered and god knows what else in the hands of Claude.

* * *

 

After dressing in his uniform and putting on his scythe gloves, Ciel just stared at himself in the mirror. He remembered all the things that had happened in the past eleven or so years. There were many happy memories, happier than any he had when he was human. He even managed to crack a small smile at himself.

“It was bound to happen. I couldn’t run from my past forever.” Ciel sighed sadly. “I guess it’s a good thing I know a demon, otherwise I wouldn’t have even this small shred of hope that I can save William. Only a demon can open a portal to hell after all.”

The former lord blew out a harsh breath of air and gave a haughty “Hmph!”

“Be thankful for small _miracles_ right?” He told himself in the mirror before turning around and walking out the door.

The young reaper didn’t hold out much hope. He fully knew that he was about to walk right to his executioner- his own permanent death. Oh how he hoped this venture wasn’t going to be in vain. He was absolutely terrified.


	7. Help Me

 

Raining, it was always raining when Ciel traveled to London. Over the years he started to agree with Grell, the human world was just blah; he much preferred the confines of The Reaper Society. The fog was thick and heavy, the air had a foreboding icy chill. Ciel was hesitant to go any further so he stopped and looked up at the massive rod iron gate. The two-headed eagle, shaped out of the twisted iron, almost looked sad as it loomed above him. The whole gate was peeling and rust was forming along the spikes up top. The area was eerily quiet and only the creak of the broken gate swinging in the wind could be heard amongst the howling gusts. Ciel shivered as a cold rain splattered on his glasses.

* * *

 

He took a breath and blew it out as he pushed open the heavy gate, the lock had been broken years ago. It was so sad to see how his estate had deteriorated without the loving care of his servants. Just seeing the overgrowth of the foliage and algae coated fountain brought up harsh memories that he didn’t want to remember. As he made his way to the front of the manor, nothing could have prepared him for the devastation he would behold. He lived his whole human life in the gorgeous home and though he was hardened and cold at times, it still hurt to see his family’s legacy destroyed. He fell to his knees in shock as he gazed upon the pitiful structure.

Every window in the front of the manor was broken out; weeds and creeping trees had inched their way up the rock walls and turned into tree sprouts coming out of some of the windows. The front of the house was blackened and had been torched by fire, again, at some point. The large front doors were barely on their hinges and hanging ajar, flapping in the wind. The interior wasn’t much better. Ciel surveyed the damage, looking left and right, as he walked through the front ballroom. The interior was gutted. Looters obviously had their fun tearing tapestries off the wall and removed or destroyed precious pieces of furniture. The grand staircase, the same place he ascended from to meet his guests with Sebastian always at his side, was partially falling down due to rot. The gigantic hole in the ceiling offered no protection from the elements and the smell of mold was strong as it wafted up from the dilapidated carpets. A small part of Ciel hoped that maybe Sebastian would have kept the manor just as it was, clean and stable after all these years. It was a stupid thought, especially after ripping his own prized soul from the demon’s grasp.

The young reaper surveyed a few more rooms in the manor that was barely standing. Everything was the same with broken furniture, fire pits where homeless used to gather and trees growing up from the broken floorboards. The home was a shell of its former glory. He ventured down to the kitchen, Sebastian’s sanctuary, to survey the damage there.

* * *

 

The kitchen wasn’t in any better shape that the rest of the place. Ciel walked in and jumped as some black birds squawked and flew from the nest they made in the charred open oven in the corner. Baking pans and utensils were strewn all over the room and some drawers were missing while others were pulled out and left broken on the floor. Some of his prized china tea cups were scattered about the room. He assumed some of them were stolen and sold for a handsome sum but a few favorites were destroyed under his feet. It looked as if children had a field day with the spice jars. All of Sebastian’s baking ingredients and spices were dumped on the floor, some scooped together to make little ant mounds.

Ciel screamed when a rat darted across the far countertop and knocked over a glass sitting on the edge. He whipped around so fast, expecting to see the demon waiting to pounce on him, but nothing was there but a rat scurrying away. “Whew,” he mumbled to himself. He had to remember where he was and who his was looking for. It would do no good to be lost in nostalgia only to be caught off guard and killed by Sebastian if he was there. However, Ciel had been in his old home for probably an hour or so and animals were the only creatures he saw so far, yet he had to be aware of his surroundings.

A piece of white caught the reaper’s eye as he moved to walk out of the kitchen. Something was peeking out from under the downed silverware drawers. He knelt down to push the drawers off of the object to inspect it further.

“Wow! It’s- it’s my family’s cookbook!” he shouted. It surprised him to no end that it would still be around in the rubble. Memories of his father, Dietrich, and himself trying to make his mother milky risotto when she was sick flooded the young reaper. He smiled to himself fondly. It was one of the rare happy memories he had before everything went to hell. On that same note, another thing came to the forefront of his mind. He then thought about when Sebastian had found that very same recipe and made it for him when he was ill. He never quite figured out if the demon did it to rub the loss of his family in his face or to truly make him feel better. On second thought, knowing Sebastian, it was probably the former, he thought.

Ciel rose from the floor and glanced down, checking for dropped pages of the cookbook. His eyes flickered to the cutlery drawers that were on top, there was something not right about them. The drawers were empty, well, mostly empty- only the spoons were left. _Now that’s odd._ Ciel thought. _Wouldn’t thieves take all the silver, not just the sharp ones?_ The answer to that question dawned on him a second too late. He knew of only one person that preferred sharp silver. “Sebastian!” he whispered to himself just as a streak of silver whooshed by his head and stuck into the wall inches from his face.

He didn’t want to turn around.

* * *

 

Ciel moved his eyes toward the object embedded into the wall in front of him. It was a tarnished silver butter knife; the engraved “P” was still visible. The reaper felt like a child about to get scolded; his hands started shaking, so he clasped them to ease the obvious fear but he did not move.

“Turn around.” An order was given from behind. It was a demand, not a suggestion.

The reaper took a long drawn out breath and blew it out. He turned around to face his would-be murderer, Sebastian Michaelis.

Sebastian was casually leaning against a cupboard, feet crossed at the ankles and arms folded across his chest. The demon was tossing one of the Phantomhive knives into the air nonchalantly. His piercing red eyes were fixed on the trembling Ciel. When their eyes finally met, Sebastian spoke again.

“Where should I put this one?” he gestured to the knife he was tossing. “I think it would look lovely embedded in your right eye socket, don’t you think?”

Ciel put his hands in front of himself. “Wait, wait! Before you kill me, I need to ask you something!”

“Hmmm.” Sebastian contemplated. “No,” he said as he flung another knife in Ciel’s direction. It grazed the right side of the boy’s temple and a trickle of blood started to slide down the pale face.

“Clumsy me, I missed,” Sebastian sneered.

Ciel hastily wiped the blood from his temple, ignoring the sting, and decided to just ask before he was stabbed for real and unable to speak. “I need you to open a portal to hell and get…” he started but Sebastian cut in before he could finish.

“Now, I think you need to do something for me before you can ask a question.” The demon tapped his chin with a finger in thought. “Yes, I know. Use that knife right there and gouge your own eye out. The right one, preferably since that eye is mine- after all, it bore my seal.”

“No, are you nuts! I can’t take my own eye out, idiot!” Ciel said hastily, forgetting that he needed the demon’s help, no matter what.

“Now you call me an idiot and you apparently need my help. You have not changed at all my lord.”

“Fine, I’ll remove that eye of yours myself, in fact, I’ll remove both for my amusement. _Then_ you can ask for my help. Or, you can remove one of them yourself. It’s your choice. Either way, my patience is wearing thin. You have one minute to do it or I’m going to take both of them but I’m not going to stop at just those. You have other round things I can remove,” the demon retorted, staring at the boy’s crotch in case he didn’t get the drift.

The menacing grin on Sebastian's face made Ciel sick to his stomach. Was he going to do this? This was stupid and he knew it. Sebastian would just kill him anyway. He knew he’d never get anywhere with this demon. William was going to die and now, so was he. All of these thoughts went through Ciel’s head as he plucked the knife out of the wall and held the tip to his right lower eyelash.

Sebastian just watched in silence, intrigued by his former master’s actions.

The boy paused for a moment, steadying his shaking hands. He took a deep breath and then another. On his third breath, he put his back to the wall and tightened his grip on the knife. This was it. He was going to take one big breath before he shoved the knife in his eye. He didn’t know if he could do it. He couldn’t believe he was going to do it. Sebastian’s glowing eyes were fixed on him, watching ever intently. He was going to do it on the count of three. He mouthed the numbers slowly and tried to steady his erratic breathing while the knife reflected his soon to be missing bright green eye back at him.

* * *

 

“One.”

 

 

“Two.”

 

 

The boy took one long deep breath in.

 

 

“Three.”

 

 

He started to push the knife slowly inside the socket.

 

 

“STOP!!!”

 

* * *

 

The knife was suddenly out of his hands. Sebastian was in his face, shoving him against the wall. The knife was clattering on the floor next to them. Ciel’s head was reeling. “ _What the hell happened?_ ” he thought. One second he was about to take out his own eye and now Sebastian had screamed for him to stop and took the knife away.

The demon just looked down at the reaper. Ciel felt like he was digging down to his very soul. The gaze was piercing and he said nothing- he just kept staring.

Sebastian released him and leaned against the table behind him. “I cannot believe you were actually going to do it! You never cease to astonish me.”

“What the hell is so important to ask me that you would rip out your own eye on a whim? I wonder, what has happened to you?”

The reaper was still a little shocked about what just took place and didn’t answer.

Sebastian waved his hand in the air in a “come on, spit it out” gesture. “Well, what is it? You called my bluff in this round of the game, so you win. Ask before I change my mind. I **do** still want to kill you after all.”

“Ok.” Ciel cleared his throat. “Claude Faustus abducted William T. Spears and took him to hell. I want you to rescue him and bring him back to the human world- safely.”

“Why would I do that?” Sebastian asked.

“I’ll owe you one, ok? Please, Sebastian!” Ciel pleaded with his hands clasped together as if in prayer to his dark god.

“You are coming to _me_ for this. You should have known better young master. Do you have a death wish, coming here like this, alone, to ask me something so preposterous?” Sebastian asked, rolling his eyes. Really, his master either is stupid or has some balls to dare ask him a favor like this.

“I’ll do what you want! Do you want the list of souls? Take it. Please just help me!” Ciel tried to hand his to-die list to Sebastian but it was just smacked away by the demon.

“You would offer up your precious list of souls to a demon just to save one reaper? I’m sure Spears would be _real_ proud of how low you would stoop to save him. How far you have fallen- noble lord you are not.”

Tiny tears leaked out of the reaper's eyes. He was ashamed of himself, look how easy he offered to give up precious information to save William, his friend. Sebastian was right; Spears would be absolutely disgusted with his behavior. It didn’t matter how much you wanted to save a colleague, you didn’t give up soul information. Period.

“You’re right. I can’t give you proprietary information and shouldn’t have offered, but I can give you something better.” Ciel removed his reaper gloves and threw them on the table next to where Sebastian was leaning. “Take my life.”

“Take my life; kill me in exchange for saving William. Please, kill me- save him.”

Sebastian sighed and walked around the table and bent forward, leaning his elbows on the top, and resting his chin on his clasped hands. He focused on Ciel’s shaking form intently.

“No. That’s too easy for you. I’ll have to go back to hell and deal with that damn Faustus. You just dying is way too easy. You need to suffer.”

“Besides, I don’t need to do you a favor in order to kill you. If I wanted you dead at this very moment, believe me, you would be dead. So your proposal means nothing to me.”

“So… you'll consider it then!?” Ciel stammered. Hope blossomed in his heart, albeit a little prematurely. In the reaper’s mind, Sebastian was considering saving William since it sounded like the demon may have ran through a scenario in his head, but that wasn’t quite the case; he was ignoring the part about his meaningless proposal as well.

“No, I’m not. I’m just getting you all hopeful so I can watch your face fall with despair.” A sharp toothed grin bloomed on the demon’s face.

“Get the fuck out of here before I just rip your throat out. I just may go to hell and help Claude kill the bastard. Yes, that sounds like a much better plan!” he laughed manically.

Ciel refused to take no for an answer. If William died then he may as well be dead too since it meant he failed his only friend. The young reaper rounded the table and stood in front of the tall demon, which was oddly still clad in his butler uniform, and dropped to his knees. Ciel put his hands out in front of him and sunk into a deep bow . A divine being bowing to a demon, showing his belly so to speak, was unheard of. The gesture was shameful to all reapers but Ciel was desperate at the moment and didn’t care what anyone would think or say if they found out.

“I surrender to you, Sebastian. If you save William I will go with you, willingly. I will do whatever you wish. I will be your slave. You can beat me, torture me, rape me, kill me even, I don’t care! I will not run from you. Please, just save Spears! I beg you!” Tears were flowing freely from Ciel’s eyes, they pooled on the floor, inches from his face. He cringed at the thought of being raped and beaten by Sebastian again but he owed his friend his life and he would gladly pay with it.

Sebastian looked down at the sobbing reaper below him. It was shocking to see his once proud lord groveling on the floor like a dog and begging a lowly demon for help. It made the demon want to torture the boy for being so weak and he planned to do just that.

The demon took his foot and ground the heel into the soft gray hair, pushing the boy’s face into the dirty floor. He smiled when he heard a squeak of pain as he increased the pressure. The thought did cross his mind that he could just crush the skull below his foot in an instant, but then he thought having a pet may not be so bad. He could pay Ciel back tenfold for all the things he put the demon through in the past.

“Done,” Sebastian announced as he removed his foot from the groveling reaper. “However, know that if I am not successful in saving your precious William, I will still own you completely and you will still come with me and be mine in every way possible. Understood?”

Ciel rubbed his throbbing head and stood, using a hand over his knee to press himself up. “How do I know that you won’t just go to hell and say you tried but didn’t? How do I know you won’t kill William yourself?” The reaper asked.

“Oh, you won’t. I guess you’ll just have to trust me that I, as you former butler, have your best interests at heart.” Sebastian said with a hint of a grin, putting his hand over his heart and bowing slightly. “Plus, why would I deceive you? It’s not like you _ever_ screwed me over…”

“Oh, wait- you did.”

“Sebastian, I- “ Ciel started.

“Don’t,” Sebastian put up his hand. “I will try to get Spears and you will wait here. As soon as I return, you will surrender yourself to me- mind, body, and soul.”

Ciel nodded reluctantly. “I understand.”

“Good. I will then begin to show you the _true_ meaning of torture. It will be great fun- for me, I assure you.”

Sebastian moved to exit the kitchen through the rear door but stopped and turned around. “Oh, one more thing my young lord, or more aptly, my young reaper- If you betray me again, I will personally murder each and every reaper you’ve come into contact with and I will kill each one while you watch. And then, I will kill you so slowly you will wish more than anything that I had merely raped you like before. I've already killed so many of those you've cared about, don't make me add to the list.”

The boy’s face paled. He knew that the butler wasn’t exaggerating this time, he was deadly serious. The only thing Ciel could do was nod affirmatively before Sebastian disappeared through the door. He hoped beyond hope that his former butler wasn’t going to betray him.

He hoped that Sebastian wouldn’t betray him- like he betrayed Sebastian so many years ago.


	8. Hell

   


“Ugh, home disgusting home.” Sebastian kicked a yellowed sulfurous rock in front of him, sending it flying into the distance. “Fucking hell—literally,” he grumbled as he removed his butler jacket, tie, and shirt. The demon was still a butler at heart and he couldn’t bear to ruin the fine garments with his sprawling black wings. The clothing was folded and set upon a nearby boulder to keep them safe from the ash covering the ground, yet it wouldn’t keep them safe from the rotten egg-like sulfur smell that permeated the air.

The demon took a deep calming breath, stretched his muscled shoulders, and bowed his head to his folded hands. After a few moments of concentration, two enormous ebony black wings erupted out of his back and flapped as they widened out to stretch after years of dormancy.

Sebastian’s bodily appearance changed slightly as well.

His skin was no longer porcelain; it took on a faint gray color. His hair was now longer and hanging to his shoulders with two pointed ears peeking out beneath the silky strands. Two very large curling horns were menacing as they dominated the top of his head. The demon’s facial structure hadn’t changed but his teeth grew longer and jagged. Despite how ugly he felt in his true form he couldn’t deny that it felt good to stretch his wings. Sebastian’s beautiful plumage was the only thing he truly admired about his own appearance after all.

After surveying the area Sebastian thought it would be best to get the so-called rescue mission over with quickly. Hell was not a place he enjoyed being anymore. The smell, the heat, the lack of order—it all just wasn’t appealing to him, not after being with humans for so long. Plus, the human realm had cats— hell did not.

A running jump allowed him to gracefully take flight and campus the terrain.

Nothing had changed in the many years since he’d last been. Ash still fell from the gray sky, hot billowing steam still poured out of the never ending volcanic mountain ranges, and dilapidated castles still dotted the barren landscape. It was not a happy place to be, yet most demons delighted in the depressing atmosphere. Sebastian tired of the warring factions and uncomfortable environment centuries ago and had mostly remained in the human realm, making contract after contract to keep things amusing.

Looking down from the air at the crumbled domains of other demons got Sebastian thinking about how he was actually going to find Claude in the vast space that was Hell.

“Let’s see, I guess I will have to find the shittiest abode I can find—and that will be Claude’s I’m sure,” he snickered to himself. “Or, I could always just start screaming ‘Claude, oh Claude!’ in that Trancy boy’s voice and see if he comes running out of somewhere…”

After a short deliberation, Sebastian decided that the former of the two choices would probably be best and knowing Claude, his domain would have an obvious indicator that just oozed, “Faustus the Freak lives here.”

As if on cue, a yellow rock formation caught his eye and he swooped down to take a better look.

* * *

   


“Wow, just wow Faustus!” Sebastian face palmed. “You actually built a sulfur rock formation resembling a spider? Well—if anyone wants to know where creepy Claude is, just follow the spiders apparently.”

Sebastian landed and surveyed the exterior of the dilapidated home. It wasn’t much to look at, just like most of the dwellings in hell. The demon had to laugh as it reminded him of the current state of the Phantomhive manor, albeit much much smaller. He took one last glance at the spider structure and shook his head. “Pitiful,” he thought.

He rustled his wings, giving them another good stretch, before making them disappear just as quickly as they appeared. The door was missing in the front so Sebastian let himself in, it’s not like most demons had manners anyway, and besides, it was Claude, so Sebastian didn’t much care either way.   


* * *

  
Sebastian kept many of his butler tendencies over the years, he took on the role of butler so well that things like cleanliness and timeliness just stuck. It was clear from entering in Claude’s hellish home that the same could not be said for the other. The interior of the place was beyond ghastly.

It looked like Claude had taken out his frustrations out on other demons that had crossed his path, made obvious by the myriad of decayed body parts thrown about the empty rooms. The ever present sulfuric smell didn’t even dissuade the stench that was radiating in stale air.

Sebastian found some rickety stairs that lead down into the dungeon like basement. Old blood stains littered the floor while chains and other contraptions hung from the ceiling. The room just reeked of death. It screamed torture chamber. The basement was large compared to the upper floors and Sebastian had to walk through a few rooms to get to any that had a scattering of light.

He heard faint voices in the room ahead. “Target reached,” he grinned to himself.

Once again Sebastian strolled into his targeted room like he owned the place. Just the short amount of time he had to endure hell made him give zero fucks about pissing Claude off. He decided when he arrived that he would kill the bastard demon if he had to or if he just felt like it when the time came.

* * *

   


The uninvited guest startled Claude who was organizing his stash of bloody instruments.

“Ah,” he jumped. “What— what are you doing here Sebastian?”

Sebastian just grinned a wide menacing smile at the other. “You know, just visiting. I heard you captured a reaper. I wanted to see if it was true.”

Claude straightened up and swept both hands toward the figure chained to the adjacent wall as if to present him to a crowd. “Ta-da,” Claude said with a sneer.

“Did you come to join me, Sebastian?” Claude asked as he tossed the other a freshly cleaned knife. “It’s the friend of your former master and the one who stole my Alois away from me!”

Before the other could answer, William moaned in pain at the mention of Ciel and caught both demon’s attentions.

Ciel’s former butler walked toward the reaper, knife still in hand.

William slowly raised his bloodshot gaze toward the towering demon. “Sebas— Seba—” William tried to form words but couldn’t find the breath. A punctured lung will do that, even to a reaper.

A sharp-taloned finger tilted the reaper’s chin back up so Sebastian could look into the depths of the one person that seemed to steal his former master’s heart.

“I want to look you in the face when I cut your heart out with this knife.” Sebastian lifted the knife to make sure Spears could get a good look at it. “You are in an unfortunate situation reaper. Both of us have reasons you want you dead. So sorry.”

The knife went out of Spears’ view but he didn’t have to guess for long where it had gone, the blooming pain in his shoulder told him as much. Blood poured from the wound covering the embedded knife and Sebastian’s hand.

The knife was removed and more blood gushed as Sebastian seductively licked the stained knife clean, making sure to hold William’s jaw so he could watch.

“Claude, have you tried the demon sword on him yet?” Sebastian turned to the other demon and asked.

Faustus looked confused for a second. “No, why would I? Would it hurt him since he’s not a demon?”

Sebastian shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. But let’s find out, shall we? I’ll go get it. Where is it?”

Claude motioned toward the chest in the far corner of the room. “It’s in there.”

“Clean him up. I want to see how much damage this will do so we need him free of blood.” Sebastian ordered. Claude obeyed without hesitation as he too was curious.

* * *

   


The opened chest revealed a glowing green and yellow sword. A sword that was stolen from Hannah, another demon, years ago. Sebastian’s eyes glowed a deep red, alight with power upon gazing on the sword that was known to kill or at least severely wound demons. He glanced behind, seeing that Claude was dutifully cleaning the moaning reaper of the sticky blood, then quickly picked up the heavy sword.

Claude was too busy taunting Spears to notice Sebastian swinging the sword, getting a feel for it, as he walked toward the two. Finally, the crouching demon put down the dirty rag and stood, wondering a little late why it was taking Sebastian so long to retrieve a sword that was just across the room.

Faustus turned, still standing in front of Spears, to see Sebastian grinning with all of those menacing jagged teeth visible, pointing the sword directly at the stunned demon.

“Sebastian?” Claude turned in head questioningly.

“Sorry, my dear Claude. As much as I want that reaper to die permanently, I got a better offer— one I cannot refuse.”

“What are you…” Claude started to ask but was abruptly cut off as the demon sword pierced the front of his chest. Claude screamed at the searing pain, but Sebastian wasn’t done yet. The blade continued to puncture the delicate insides of the other demon. When Sebastian was satisfied, Faustus was run through completely and hanging off the sword.

“I will be paid handsomely for this, but even so, it is worth it just to see you in such agony.” Sebastian sneered in the other’s face. “Did you really think I would just go along and be your friend just because you caught that reaper?” The demon tsked. “You should know better.”

“Sebastian, you— you got me too you damn demon!” William choked out as he coughed up more blood.

In his eagerness to cause pain, he ended up skewering Faustus and William both.

“I know. I still wanted to know if it would kill you. Sadly, it apparently did not as you’re still talking,” Sebastian answered.

Claude fell to the floor as the sword was violently ripped out of the two.

“You bastard! Why would you do this?” Claude shrieked. “You wanted that reaper to die too dammit!”

Sebastian just shook his head and he knelt down in front of the fallen man. Faustus whimpered as the yank on his hair added to the pain coursing through his body.

“I told you, I got a better deal. So I won’t be helping you kill him.”

“You will just stay here in pain…” Sebastian lifted the sword and ran it through the other’s chest again. “…and try to heal while this is stuck inside you. Good luck pulling it out since the pain just gets worse the longer it is buried inside your body.”

The half-dead demon tried to grab onto Sebastian's leg but was just kicked away.

“You son-of-a-bitch… I’ll find you!”

“Yes, you do that. Though, I don’t know when since it’ll take you years to heal from this. You are lucky we are in hell as that sword would quickly end your existence if we were elsewhere. As it is, you will just be healing for a very long time. Enjoy!” he trailed off.

Sebastian was done talking to the sniveling demon, a swift kick to the face ended the conversation. He turned toward the reaper hanging on the wall, who was still bleeding out.

“Now for you William T. Spears…”

The reaper looked at him with obvious fear and trepidation. He was scared of Claude, especially with all the sickening torture he endured, but he was terrified of Sebastian. He knew the horrible things Sebastian could do and how sadistic he was, the man would rather spend his last agonizing days with Claude any day before Sebastian.

As if a lion stalking a helpless lamb, Sebastian meandered over to Spears.  
The reaper flinched when they were face to face and Sebastian reached up to jingle the chains keeping the other’s wrists above his head and attached to the wall. A swift yank was all it took for the chains to relent to the demon’s strength.

As soon as the shackles split away from the reddened wrists, Sebastian stepped back and let the reaper fall face first to the ground with a thud. Spears didn’t attempt to rise as he feet were still chained.

Sebastian sighed. “I guess you want me to get those too?” the demon said with a quick pull that freed the reaper’s ankles.

William barely was able to lift his upper body off the dirty floor. Sebastian reached down and moved to pick the pathetic man up.

“No, get away from me! Don’t you dare touch me!” William wailed.

The usual proud reaper was embarrassed at how weak he was acting but he was in so much pain he didn’t much care at the moment. He attempted to curl in a ball to protect his vital organs in case of an attack.

The former butler laughed out loud and completely ignored the command. Spears was grabbed and slung over the demon’s shoulder without an ounce of care. William’s blood started to leak down onto the demon’s pristine back.

“Shut it! Is this the thanks I get for saving your ass?” Sebastian grumbled. “And can’t you keep your spewing blood to yourself, it’s disgusting.”

William groaned from the pressure digging into his midsection. “Ha, I thought you’d be used to being covered in blood, you probably enjoy it,” he spat out, causing more blood to splatter.

“If it were my former master’s blood, yes, yours; however, no. The stench makes me want to hurl and that is saying something considering the foulness of the air.”

William got to his senses at another mention of Ciel and tried to ask about his welfare and why Sebastian was there, but all questions were ignored. Sebastian carried the injured reaper to the first floor of the makeshift home and with a giant leap, tore through the rickety roof and soared into the gray sky.

* * *

   


It was the first time Sebastian ever saw a reaper have, what he would call, a panic attack at being haphazardly carried on a shoulder from hundreds of feet in the air. The reaper wasn’t sure if he would survive if he fell from that height— he hoped the demon wasn’t feeling experimental. Spear’s didn’t say another word while they were in the air, being too afraid he would antagonize the demon and be dropped to his certain death.

Thankful for his acute spatial memory, Sebastian had no trouble navigating to the same boulder that held his perfectly folded butler’s attire.

Upon landing, Spears was unceremoniously dumped on the ground. The sharp breaths confirmed that the reaper was still in unimaginable pain. Sebastian internally grinned at that fact. Since he was so inconvenienced to come there, it may as well be an inconvenience for someone else too, he thought.

“Hey, Spears, can you stand?” Sebastian asked while transforming his features and clothing back to that of Noble’s butler.

Spear just shook his head, “no.”

The demon rolled his eyes and sighed again, annoyance flitting across his face.

“Up you go then,” Sebastian said as he hoisted the reaper up in his arms, bridal style this time. “I can’t have you bleeding all of my swallowtail, so this will have to do.”

* * *

   


With a burst of bright light, making William shield his eyes, the pair hopped through the now open portal. In a split second, they were back in the human world, standing in what remained of the Phantomhive rose garden.

“Put me down. Please, I don’t want Ciel to see me like this!” Spears pleaded.

“What makes you think that reaper is here?” Sebastian questioned.

“Why else would you rescue me from hell!?— Where is he?— What did you do to him!?” Questions started pouring out of the frantic reaper’s mouth now that he was safely in the human world.

Sebastian walked over to a rotten bench and deposited the man with the drop of his arms.

“Oomph,” was the only sound that came out of the other’s mouth. He leaned his head on the rear of the bench and felt a little safer now he was on the ground and in the human world.

William took a ragged deep breath and used all his might to scream, “Ciel,” at the top of his lungs. “Ciel, I’m here! Ciel, are you alright!” he continued.

“Would you shut up. If he didn’t hear you whining before, he surely knows you’re here now!”

Sebastian started walking away from the annoying man. “Shut the hell up or I’ll stab you again.— He’s here somewhere, I guarantee you of that,” he demon grinned with sharp canines shining in the moonlight.

Just as the demon finished, a streak of black started rushing toward the pair, bounding out from one of the rear doors of the estate.

Yes, come to me my little pet. Sebastian mused to himself as he waited for his new slave to cross the barren lawn.


	9. Life for a Life

 

The black streak that was Ciel Phantomhive flew across the estate lawn, eager to survey his best friend’s current state. He wasn’t sure that Sebastian would keep his promise, for all he knew Sebastian was killing him at that very moment, hence the screaming of his name.

When Ciel finally arrived at the pair that was waiting in the gardens, he was a little shocked to see Spears in such a state. The man was covered in blood, presumably his own, with visible deep wounds in his shoulder and torso. It was disconcerting to see the typical stoic man in such a saddened state.

Ciel slowly walked up to the man sitting on the bench as he tried to control his breathing. Spears seemed to be alive at least, which he was grateful for; yet at the same time, he was sad as it was the end of the road for the pair.

“Spears? Are you… alright?” Ciel asked as he put his hand on the other’s shoulder.

William sighed and looked into the other’s eyes, taking his hand. “Yes, I will survive— no thanks to that wretch!” He nodded toward Sebastian who was aimlessly walking around the garden ruins.

“That bastard stabbed me— twice!” Spears raised his voice in anger but then quickly groaned in pain.

Sebastian wandered back over to the pair, standing behind Ciel. “My lord, did you honestly think that I would do precisely as asked? Really, Ciel, you shouldn’t be so shocked.”

The younger death god’s face said it all; he was pissed. He wasn’t shocked at what Sebastian did but had hoped that the demon would not hurt someone he cared for— just one time. It was apparent he was asking too much from the other. Glancing behind toward Sebastian and then back to William in such a state just made Ciel more upset by the second. Here he was giving his life up, and this damn demon couldn’t even keep his menacing hands from hurting a friend.

“You fucking asshole!” Ciel yelled after he quickly spun around to face the chiding demon. The younger moved to strike the other in the face in a moment of insanity.

Sebastian caught the thin wrist in midair and squeezed tightly. “You might want to rethink your actions, my lord. You want to hit me, fine. But do remember that I will do the same to you.”

The boy just glared while his wrist was starting to ache.

“Do I need to remind you of how hard I can hit? Come to think of it; I don’t believe you've felt even half of my strength.”

Ciel didn’t answer and just pulled on his wrist, but it was no use. On the third pull, Sebastian released his grasp, making the other stumble backward. “Gah, Shut up. I have no reason to fear you. I’m dead anyway!”

“Aww, look at you, so brave in from of your sweet William. You are sorely mistaken if you think I will kill you so quickly…my pet.”

A cough came from behind the pair. “What? What are you two talking about? Ciel, we have to go. You have to help me get back to The Society’s Headquarters.”

The weight of what the younger would have to tell his only friend melted all the anger he had just moments prior. He forgot that William had no clue as to what the deal was and that the pair would never see each other again. Ciel knew the other was not going to take it well.

The boy turned toward the older reaper, completely ignoring the taunting demon, and took the injured reaper’s hands into his own.

“William, I won’t be going back with you to the society. I made a deal, and I must honor it. I’ve given myself up to Sebastian, and I will go with him willingly.”

Spears just stared at the other for a moment, gazing into the other’s bright green eyes. He held onto Ciel’s small hands tightly. “No, no you can’t do this!” William pleaded.

A gentle touch ran through the black gelled locks, a touch so tender that it shocked Ciel that he was even moved to do so. “I’ve already broken one promise in my lifetime, and I will not dishonor my name again in that way. “ Ciel removed his reaper gloves and set them beside the now hunching reaper. “I’ve giving these back since I will not be a society member any longer. Grell will be by soon to get you. I’m sure he sensed your arrival as soon as you breached this world’s barrier. Take care, my friend.”

The great William T. Spears was speechless. Tears silently leaked down his cheeks as Ciel turned and started walking away…for the last time. Spears was angry and sad all at the same time. He was disappointed that his friend would sacrifice his life, but he couldn’t argue that he wouldn’t have done the same, even though it was against regulations.

Ciel caught up with Sebastian, and as he approached a talon tipped hang draped over his shoulders, it was anything but comforting. The pair started walking away from the sobbing man when the other's shouting stopped them.

“Please, don’t do this Ciel! You’re my only real friend dammit! Take me instead. I’m older, and I can take more abuse. Let me go in his place!” The reaper begged.

Sebastian steered Ciel and himself around to face the heaving mess on the bench.

“Tell you what Spears…since you are such great friends with my former master, I guess I could share.” Hmmm, Sebastian thought as he put a slim finger over his mouth. “Ah ha, I have the perfect plan. We will share Ciel…that’s fair right? How about I send you back little pieces of him for you to enjoy. You know, a finger here, an ear there. I’ll even gift wrap the bloody pieces in beautiful royal blue wrapping, his favorite color. At least this way you will always have a piece of him with you— literally.”

Spears doubled over and vomited on the ground below.

“I’ll take that as a yes, you agree then? Perfect! I’ll give you a parting gift.”

Sebastian grabbed Ciel’s hand and yanked it up to his mouth and sucked a digit in between the jagged teeth. Ciel’s eyes were wide with shock and fear. It never really occurred to him that the demon would be so sadistic as to remove pieces of his body… while he was awake no less.

A sharp intake of breath escaped the shaking former Earl as he squeezed his eyes shut as tight as he could, preparing for the pain to get worse as he felt the sharp teeth pierce his skin.

“STOP! Please, don’t,” Spears begged, clasping his hands together. “Don’t hurt him. I’ll be the bigger man and let him go.”

The demon lapped at the small cuts on Ciel’s finger and popped it out of his mouth. “Oh, I’m going to hurt him. But I won’t chop off pieces— or I won’t send them to you at least.”

“I swear on my soul that I will destroy you for this Michaelis. One way or the other, you won’t get away with the torture you’ll put him through!”

Sebastian just burst out laughing. He couldn’t believe that he was being threatened by a reaper that was half dead and couldn’t even save himself from Claude. The cackling stopped when Ciel furiously interjected.

“NO. No, Spears, you will not come after him.” Ciel blurted out.

Both of the other men looked at the younger in utter confusion. The young Lord continued in a softer tone.

"Do not become like me, William. Forget me, do not seek revenge. You were not meant to harbor such hate. Revenge is ugly and all encompassing. I should know. ... Do not become that person. Promise me."

Will was stunned, and fresh tears pricked his green eyes. “Oh, Ciel. You are truly remarkable. Even if the higher ups don’t agree, you are a soul of worth to me. Tha— thank you for being my friend. I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry Spears. This was all my own doing from the start. Do not blame yourself for my mistakes. And thank you for being there for me. I will never forget that.”

“Goodbye, William.”

“Goodbye, Ciel.”

Ciel jerked his head to the left, gesturing to Sebastian that they should get going. The demon just nodded and put his hand to the young reaper’s back, steering him toward the old manor. As the pair walked in silence, Ciel gazed up at the night sky. He thought of how beautiful it was and how sad he felt that this night would likely be his last. If not the last night of his life, most likely his last night of freedom. For tonight on, he was a slave, a pet, an object to be used. The boy sighed deeply and reminded himself that no matter what came, he did this to himself and he would take responsibility for it. No matter what would happen to himself, he could rest easy knowing that his friend was safe.


	10. Past Lies Reveal Present Truths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this impromptu chapter. It's almost 1 a.m. here right now and I just couldn't stop. ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) I promise sexy time (or not depending on preferences) is coming soon!

 

* * *

 

Ciel stopped short on his way to the manor entrance, turning to gaze upon the crumbling remnants of his gravestone and those of this parents. The site that should have held his remains decades ago brought back a flood of devastating memories. The reaper should have been buried in that spot twice now, once when he should have died on that altar, and a second when he committed suicide to keep his soul from Sebastian. And yet, there he stood with the same demon that saved and damned so many years ago.

“I guess a third time will be the charm this time, hmm?” The boy mused to himself, shrugging his shoulders. The weight of the turbulent and trying years weighed on him; he looked to be so much older in the dawning light.

Sebastian just stood quietly behind, staring. “Yes, my young lord. It appears that you need to die thrice for it to really take hold.” The demon chuckled lightly. “Let’s go, shall we? As my new pet, you have duties to attend to.”

Ciel just sighed and started to turn away from the graves, giving them one final glance. “Sebastian, what are those?” The reaper pointed toward a row of overgrown structures resting far behind the graves of his parents. The demon ignored the comment and tried to steer his little slave back toward the manor, but the gesture was useless as the reaper shrugged the hand off and dashed forward to the questioned objects.

The former lord knew his manor like the back of his hand, even after all the years past. He did not remember the row of crumbled stone being there during his life on earth. Curiosity got the best of him, and pieces of dirt and weeds flew by the approaching demon as the reaper cleared the area in front of the rubble.

“What the hell are these?” Ciel asked in a sharp accusatory tone after reading what he could of the aged stone engravings.

Sebastian cleared his throat and folded his hands behind his back. “Those, Ciel Phantomhive, are called gravestones or grave markers. They are commonly used to mark the area where the dead are buried.”

“Grrr, Don’t be a smartass! Not now! These— these dates—” The former lord crawled over to the remaining three grave markers, reading each as best he could. “These dates are all relatively recent! That’s not possible…” Ciel fell backward on his butt in disbelief and turned toward Sebastian. “What is going on? These are graves for Tanaka, Mey-Rin, Bard, and Finny! You murdered them over fifty years ago, so why…”

The demon just smirked at the confusion etched on the others face. Ciel was heaved up, dusted off, and slung over Sebastian’s shoulder without receiving an answer. The questioning reaper was about to start kicking when the other broke the silence as they entered the manor.

* * *

 

“The servants wished to be buried at the manor. Obviously, they could not be buried next to the Nobles’ resting place, so they were tucked away in the rear.”

Ciel immediately attacked with another accusation when he was lowered to the ground. “That didn’t answer my question, Sebastian! Why are those graves indicating my servants died within the last decade instead of within the last sixty years or so when _you_ made such a show of decapitating them in front of me!?”

“My lord, you are absolutely filthy. I cannot break in a new pet in this state. Come.” Sebastian took Ciel’s arm and dragged him through the foyer, up the stairs, and to the old Phantomhive bedroom in-suite— or what was left of it at least. Despite the reaper’s insistence on an answer and resorting to violence, he was no match for his former butler. Unbeknownst to the furious boy, the slapping, kicking, and screaming did nothing but make the demon excruciatingly hard. Ciel was unceremoniously deposited in the chipped porcelain tub with a thud without further comment from the butler.

Sebastian put his finger to his mouth. “Shhh,” he said. “I will be back with water and items to give you a proper bath. Remove your clothing before I get back, and I will answer your question. Don’t, and I’ll remove your clothes anyway, you won’t get your question answered, and I’ll make sure to scrub you so hard that you’ll bleed. Got it?”

If a sneering glare could kill, Sebastian would definitely be dead on the spot. An acknowledging nod was the only thing he received from the other to indicate the message was received.

Sebastian exited the bath, and Ciel reluctantly started to remove his suit. When everything was off, he felt embarrassed and exposed. It had been over half a century since his former butler saw him nude and those memories were something he’d wished he could erase from his mind forever. While the demon was gone, Ciel turned over the other’s possible motivations in his head. The reaper couldn’t figure out why his butler was doing all this— why consent to answering questions at all? The boy knew he was as good as property, Sebastian owed him nothing, so the only thing he could think of was that this was more mind games— something to confuse Ciel and entertain Sebastian.

“Ah, good. You’re already undressed,” Sebastian said as he re-entered the bathroom with sleeves rolled up and a handful of towels and soaps.

The demon butler wasted no time getting Ciel washed. Every care was given to ensure the former lord was pampered just as he had been all those years ago. It was almost and if the butler missed caring for his former master in this way; however, Ciel just chalked it up to more twisted games from a twisted demon.

“Well, speak. Tell me, what happened to my servants? Or is this more of you psychological torture?”Ciel asked while waving his hand in the air in a get on with it gesture.

Sebastian stood, motioning for Ciel to get up as well, and be dried off with the fluffy towel that seemed to come out of nowhere.

“You know how I love psychological games,” the butler said as he toweled off the embarrassed and red faced reaper. “But no, those dates on the gravestones are completely correct. Think back, my lord— I never killed the servants in front of you. You saw and smelled, if I remember correctly, what I wanted you to. My goal was to devastate you, punish you, and severing your annoying but precious servants’ heads and putting them on display certainly helped do the trick.”

Ciel’s mouth was wide open in shock along with eyes as big as saucers. “So— so you never murdered them? They lived out their lives, and then you buried them here when they died!? What? Why? You hated them…you hated _me_ …”

“Correction reaper, I _hate_ you— present tense. But you contracted me to get revenge on those that caused your parents’ death and therefore caused you to be captured by the cultists— that person was you. I had no ill will against those three idiots, and I grew slightly fond of Tanaka.”

The young reaper didn’t know how to react. All this information he was receiving was news to him and quite frankly, shocking and unbelievable. This had to be a trick of some kind. He didn’t think the butler in black would be kind to his past servants and honor their wishes just for the sake of it.

“So, then, you didn’t kill Lizzy either and…” he trailed off, unable to repeat just what Sebastian did to his betrothed.

Sebastian allowed Ciel to step out of the bath and enter the bedroom to sit on the edge of the rickety and rotten bed. The butler just stood, facing the other, seemingly to be in thought.

“Oh no, I killed that harlot. That was utterly by my hand, and yes, I fucked with you and tried to make you believe that you had slit her throat,” the demon said with a tone of disgust.

“She was not a harlot. Take that back demon!” Ciel shouted as he tried to stand and assert himself but was easily shoved backward with one hand by the smirking devil.

“You never viewed her cinematic record, did you? I’m surprised honestly since you had the power to do so. If nothing but to clear your riddled mind of guilt that you may have killed your dear Lizzy.”

The anger in the reaper’s face didn’t stop Sebastian from continuing the beratement. “You were so caught up in your hatred of me that you never even realized how much Elizabeth craved your affections. You constantly rebuked her advances. She was getting to that age where she wanted more than pecks on the cheek. She needed a man’s touch, and you refused her time and time again.”

Ciel put up his hand in front of his face. “Stop, just stop. I don’t want to hear what you did to her. I’m going to be sick.”

“Me? I did nothing.” The former lord looked directly into those piercing crimson eyes questioningly. “She chose a much easier target, one that was closer and intoxicated enough to allow it.”

Sebastian was now close enough to Ciel’s face that he could feel the hot breath. The former lord felt the flick of a tongue on the shell of his ear, and then an earlobe got sucked into menacing demon’s mouth. A squeak of pain escaped the boy’s lips as a jagged fang pierced the sensitive lobe. As if to apologize, albeit very insincerely, a kiss was placed on on the thin jaw below before Sebastian continued again.

“Your fiance took her womanly needs into her _own_ hands— and bedded Edward. Her _own_ brother.

The former lord’s mouth just opened and closed like a fish gasping for air. He couldn’t speak as his brain was having a hard enough time comprehending the alleged affair whispered in his ear.

Sebastian placed a sickly sweet kiss on the corner of the younger’s trembling lips. “Do you want to know another devilish plot twist?” The demon whispered. “She was pregnant by his seed when I sliced her pretty little neck open…”

Ciel was in shock with hands shaking and breaths coming out in pants. Out of everything he expected when he surrendered himself to Sebastian, this was something he could never have anticipated. The very thought of Elizabeth doing something so vile, so against the norm, was hard to make sense of. Thoughts were zooming through the reaper’s mind like lightening. Was it true? Was it all a lie meant to torture? Sebastian had put him through so much over the years, and now that he was the slave he knew the demon meant to harm him, and yet, looking into those swirling pools of scarlet, Ciel Phantomhive knew that the accusations were true. Somehow he knew. Now the question was— why? Why tell him this now? What would it matter? Was it just to hurt him and rub salt in a wound so to speak?

So many questions and feelings were running through Ciel’s head. He didn’t notice himself being pushed back on the bed. He felt weightless as some part of his mind was faintly made aware of his hands fastened with cold metal above his head. When the boy came back to reality his wrists were shackled to the broken bed frame, and Sebastian was on top of him, only it wasn’t the butler facade he was seeing. The reaper’s gaze followed the muscled gray chest up to the chiseled face and the curling black horns.

This was Sebastian. The real, the hungry, Sebastian Michaelis.

A hoarse whisper was all that came out of the boy pinned under the monster. “…Now…you want it now?”

A single black talon scraped along Ciel’s bony side, leaving a streak of red in its wake. Black wings erupted out of the demon’s back, flapped wildly, and came to rest on either side of the reaper’s small body, covering him in darkness.

“What can I say? The agony in your expression at knowing how desperate your fiance was for comfort made me insatiably hard. I hope William kept you open enough for me, my lord.”

“It’s…not…it wasn't...like…that…” The former earl stuttered, his brain still not cooperating with his mouth.

“Good to know. I’m the only one you’ll ever have, dear Phantomhive,” Sebastian said right before he lunged for those pink trembling lips.


	11. Open Me

 

* * *

Wet smacking noises echoed throughout the quiet room. The demon was enthusiastically attacking the reaper's plump lips. It didn’t matter how much wriggling or kicking the boy did from under the massive figure, between Sebastian’s powerful hands and wings that darkened his immediate area, Ciel was unable to move.

“Mhhh…no…” the former Lord managed to get out when his owner relented in the assault for a few short seconds. Ciel pulled on the restraints, but even a reaper wasn’t able to break steel shackles.

Sebastian propped himself on his elbows and looked down at the shaking mess beneath. “Have you forgotten your promise already slave? You agreed to submit to anything.” The demon caressed the pink tinted cheek; it was warm and damp from the occasional trailing tear. “Why are you shaking? Are you that fearful? Has all the strength and bolster left you since you’ve become a reaper?”

Ciel shrugged lazily and didn’t feel like reminding the demon of his near fatal brimstone attack. He felt so tired, mentally and physically. The reaper was past the point of thinking he would ever get a straight answer out of the demon, the same demon that swore to never lie to him. It was ironic, that statement in itself was a lie. As much as Ciel had changed when he became a member of the Shinigami Dispatch Society, that hardened brazen boy still lay buried beneath, under layers and layers of improvement; which caused him to ask once again the meaning of it all.

“Why? — Sebastian, you’re right, I did submit to you. But you owe me just that answer, the why to all these revelations. The why to the mind games and lies; there is no point to it now. I’m yours; you won this time. Tell me the truth.”

Sebastian sighed heavily. “I know you’re trying to postpone me breaking you in, but it won’t work. I’ve told you nothing but the truth since you walked away from that damned Spears. I can prove it to you, but now, you will obey me, and you will submit.”

The once proud Earl just lightly nodded his head.

“Now… tell me you want it,” Sebastian ordered.

“What?” Ciel asked, not following what the other was saying.

“I’ll be more clear then. I order you, Ciel Phantomhive, to beg me to take you, to break you in, as my new toy.”

Ciel just gulped loudly and stared into the swirling pools of the blood red eyes above him. Sebastian was serious, that much the young reaper knew. The boy went back and forth in his head, wondering what would be worse— to refuse or submit. Either option wasn’t ideal pain wise since Sebastian was intent making him suffer. He felt a sharp talon probe the thin slice down his side when he gave no answer. The seconds ticked by and the longer he was silent, the deeper the talon sunk into the fresh cut, making it sting all the more.

“Sebastian,” the trembling reaper wet his lips. “Take— take me and, and…” He paused, gathering courage as he knew as soon as those words left his mouth, he would be assaulted. “… and break me in.”

“Very well,” the demon breathed out.

The reaper felt the weight on his body subside and he could now see the room. Sebastian had raised up, and the spectacular wings were gone. Stupidly, Ciel looked down his own body to see the demon kneeling between his hairless legs. The boy gasped. The massive organ Sebastian was currently working was the largest he’d ever seen. The unsheathed cock was easily two inches in diameter and eight inches plus long; protruding veins made it look all the more menacing. The little Lord threw his head back into the mattress and shut his eyes tight while clutching the barely there sheets. The next few minutes or hours were going to be excruciatingly painful.

Ciel screeched and attempted to pull back when he felt an icy liquid touch his exposed skin. The substance dripped down his balls and collected at the trembling opening below.

“What the hell is that demon? Gah, it’s so cold!” The boy shivered as the liquid dripped down the curve of his pert ass.

“You didn’t think I’d take you without any help did you?” Sebastian asked like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I really don’t want to have to wait for your healing abilities to kick in if I split you open on my first thrust, hence…” The demon held up a small glass vial before tossing it behind him. “…lubricating oil.”

The man didn’t wait for a reaction from the other and drove one black-tipped finger deep into the slicked hole. Thankfully for Ciel, the penetration was by a talon-free digit.

The young reaper’s body immediately tried to push out the invader to ease the strange sensation. As much as his body was protesting, Ciel knew it was for naught and started taking deep breaths to calm the burning that was surrounding his entrance. Another finger was added all too quickly making the boy thrash and pull against his steel restraints. Ever so slowly the hole widened and allowed Sebastian to make a scissoring motion to continue the expansion. Ciel felt so violated, but he guessed that was the point now wasn’t it?

Sebastian's eyes flickered to a dark ruby. He was fixated on the expanding opening, pumping his gargantuan organ as the scissoring finally allowed the passage to open enough for his tip. “Such a beautiful entrance just for me,” he mused.

The demon crawled up Ciel’s exposed body, peppering the flesh with quick nips from navel to collarbone. Tiny rivulets of blood oozed from the bites making a straight line of small circles up the center of the boy’s chest. “Prepare yourself, my lord. Let me swallow your screams,” Sebastian whispered right before he lined himself up and touched the bulbous tip to the stretched, but still too small, opening.

Sebastian captured Ciel's lips before he could speak. A wet tongue invaded the small mouth and darted about as if to touch every crevice. Sebastian’s tongue only explored a few seconds before snaking down, past the reaper’s uvula. The Earl began to shake violently on instinct trying to gasp for more breath as the slithering organ delved much deeper than a human tongue would ever be able to do. At that moment while breaths came in short bursts, Ciel thought the demon was about to take his soul instead of entering him. The boy soon found that the demon wasn’t that accommodating.

The reaper’s body jolted up from the bed as Sebastian’s massive organ pierced the entrance it was hovering against. The entry didn’t stop at one thrust and continued until the engorged cock hilted. The advance of such a large object was akin to pushing a large doweling rod inside an expandable but fragile tunnel; the pain was immense and much more so than the first time the demon took the former Lord as he pleased. The boy could do nothing as he was split open from the inside. Unable to scream. Unable to hit. Unable to move. The only thing the small body could do was shed as many tears as it possibly could. Ciel’s brilliant green eyes were hidden behind tightly squeezed eyelids, yet even closed eyes could not stop the tears from pouring down his red face. He could hear the demon’s grunting as his ass was pounded mercilessly for what seemed like hours. Sebastian’s cock slid out and back in, each time covered with a few more speckles of crimson.

The little Lord felt he was about to pass out from the pain when an intense wave a pleasure rushed over him. In that instant, the agony didn’t matter, and all he wanted was the object inside of him to hit that same joyous spot again. Sebastian noticed the change in tone of the gurgling and removed his tongue from the other’s mouth.

“What was that my young lord?” The demon angled his hips to press into the same area deep inside to cause Ciel to moan in ecstasy once more. “Ever the masochist, hmm? You enjoy your pleasure with a bit of pain?” Sebastian asked, not expecting a response.

Ciel slowly opened his eyes to stare at the demon. The tears gave the bright green orbs a sparkling appearance; they seemed to glow in the faint light. “More,” was all the boy said.

The young reaper shocked Sebastian, making the demon think back to the days of butler and master and how the boy had always surprised him to the very end of their contract. Nostalgia may have gotten the better of the older as he acquiesced and pressed his cock deeper into that sweet spot inside the tight heat. Ciel started bucking his hips to meet the other’s thrusts, making both lost to pleasure. Sebastian too needed more and reached up to rip the chains right off the bed posts, allowing the other’s hands to move, though still in shackles.

“I don’t know…I don’t know what’s come over me!” Ciel said with an exasperated tone. “I’m going to come…soon!” The demon was dismayed with another gesture as the reaper looped his bound hands over the horn-clad head above and grasped the long black locks.

Sebastian lost it as he felt the trembling hands weave through his hair and pushed inside his slave as hard as he could, emptying copious amounts of semen into the narrow cavern. As soon as Ciel felt the scorching wetness flood his insides, he too lost control and came with a grunt, covering he and the demon’s chest.

Breathing heavy the pair locked eyes as they came down from their post orgasmic bliss. Sebastian leaned down to give the boy a bruising kiss, but the other quickly turned his face away just before their lips touched. As the reaper came to his senses, he jerked his arms off the other’s head and refused to look at him.

“What did you do to me, bastard?!” Ciel asked as he frowned in distaste at his previous despicable behavior.

The demon pulled out of the Earl, allowing a river of come to rush out, soaking the dirty bed below. Sebastian smirked as he saw the look of utter disgust on the earl’s face as the warm liquid pooled between his cheeks.

“I did nothing but give you the pleasure you were clearly lacking. Apparently, you needed your former butler to give you the release that Spear’s couldn’t or wouldn’t give you. My lord, a little masochist— I knew it.” The demon grinned and grabbed hold of the shackles; with a quick tug Ciel’s bindings were removed and tossed aside.

The reaper still refused to look at his captor.

“Fuck you, demon.” Ciel clenched his fists tightly, trying to contain his composure.

The demon sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. “Stop pouting like a little brat…and for the record, I did just fuck you— and you liked it.”

“Now, even though you are my slave, I told you I would show you proof of Lady Elizabeth’s treachery. You wanted to know, yes? You see, Edward is still alive, and I will take you to him so you can ask him yourself if my words are true.” Sebastian offered.

When Ciel finally faced the demon, he was back into his human facade, butler uniform and all.

“He’s alive? After all this time?” Ciel inquired, questing the validity of the man’s words.

“Yes, he is alive. How I do not know, but he won’t be for long. The incessant drinking has finally caught up with the wretch I suppose; he is to die soon.” The demon said in a quipped tone.

“How do you know that?” The reaper questioned.

Sebastian reached down to the floor near Ciel’s folded suit and came up with a thin notebook and flashed it toward the other. “It seems like someone carelessly left their to-die-list laying around for a demon to find. So sloppy.” The butler shook his head in mock chiding. “William would be so disappointed. But I guess it is his fault he forgot to collect it from you before your departure.”

“Bastard! Don’t touch that! It is not for your eyes dammit!” Ciel tried to get up to grab the book but fell back down as soon as a sharp pain coursed through his lower back, catching him off guard.

“My Lord, you are my possession, which means this book is mine as well. We haven’t much time. Get yourself cleaned up and I will take you at once. You can grovel at my feet in apology when we return, and you know the truth.” Sebastian said as he walked out of the bedroom, leaving the boy to clean up alone.

Ciel wasn’t sure if he wanted to know if the demon was telling the truth or not, but it looked like he wouldn’t be getting a choice, they were going to visit Edward Midford whether he wanted to or not. The boy gathered the torn sheets and wiped himself off as best he could. He felt soiled and used but considering there was no water; dirty linens would have to do a hasty cleanup. Slowly he got up, breathing through the sharp pains in his backside and cursing his affliction that made him heal slower, as he scooted off the bed and carefully redressed. When he was as presentable as he could get, the reaper headed out of the room to find Sebastian.


	12. Edward Midford

 

Sebastian waited for the reaper in the entryway to the manor. Ciel was brushing the dust of his suit jacket as he walked nearer to the demon.

“Well, lets go then, Sebastian,” Ciel commented when the demon didn’t move; he seemed to be in thought.

The butler eyed the former lord, looking him up and down. “Something is missing,” he mused as he tapped his chin. The demon snapped his fingers. “Yes, I know!”

Sebastian crooked his finger toward the other, beckoning the boy to stand in front of him.

“What…” Ciel started to say when his face the abruptly jerked upward, making him look straight into the swirling crimson irises.

Sebastian caressed the right side of the boy’s face with his free hand then lifted the appendage so he could remove his butler’s glove with his teeth. “You’re my property once again young master; therefore, you are in need of your mark.” Ciel’s green eyes went wide with shock and a hint of fear. He remembered that pain, that searing, excruciating pain; it was an experience he didn’t want to repeat. Unfortunately for Ciel, he did not have a choice in the matter.

The demon fisted his right hand in Ciel’s hair, yanking his head back and holding him to the spot while his left hand slowly came to rest upon the boy’s vulnerable eye.

“I told you this eye belonged to me, did I not?” the demon questioned.

Ciel didn’t have time to answer as the next sound out of his mouth was a blood-curdling scream. A river of red trickled from under the butler’s hand, dripping down the reaper’s paling face. Ciel felt as if his eye was being torn out and set on fire all at the same time. He could feel each line of the contract seal as it carved into his eyeball. Even with the healing abilities as a reaper, he knew that this brand would not be healing, for a demon’s curse of this magnitude was much too powerful for a lowly reaper like himself to repair. The fire seemed to burn forever, and he wondered if Sebastian would blind him permanently this time.

When the demon finally removed his hand, Ciel’s face was flushed bright red, and crimson stained tears poured from his eye socket. The reaper didn’t dare open his eye for fear of what he would see, or rather, not see. He moved to touch the tender flesh, but his hand was smacked away.

“Don’t touch it! I’ll do it,” Sebastian commanded. Ciel flinched when he watched the butler’s left hand, now also etched with the contract mark, come up toward his closed eye and pressed above the eyelid.

The boy hissed with pain. “Ah, don’t!” he yelled.

“Let me see it, Ciel. Now.” was all the demon needed to say before Ciel relented and tried to open his eye. The butler’s voice was on edge, and Ciel didn’t want to end up losing his eye if he disobeyed.

Slowly the boy’s lid opened to reveal a bloodshot but intact eyeball. The blackened etching of the pentagram was stark against the yellowed iris. Carefully, almost lovingly, Sebastian took out a handkerchief and dabbed away the blood off the reaper’s sweat slicked face until only the sunburn like redness remained.

“Can you see me clearly, young master?” the demon asked.

“I can see you dammit. That was much more painful than the first time!” Ciel clenched his fists, not wanting to let his anger get the best of him.

“Apologies my lord, but the burn had to go deeper into your cornea for my seal to stay visible. You see, your reaper abilities may be fragile, but they are still always trying to heal you.”

“Tch. Whatever, let’s get going and get this over with!” Ciel started to stomp toward the door but was stopped when Sebastian grabbed his shoulder.

“You are forgetting something, Phantomhive.”

The reaper turned and looked at what was offered in the butler’s hand.

“Again, I have to wear one of these patches?” Ciel rolled his eyes, regretting it the moment he did so as a streak of pain shot through his damaged eye.

The butler grinned as he moved around to tie the patch securely over the boy’s head. “Now we can go…pet.”

Ciel looked around the grounds as he stepped from the crumbling stone steps. “How are we getting there? Where’s the carriage?” he asked.

“We’ll take your favorite mode of transportation, my lord. Up you go.” Sebastian said as he scooped up the unsuspecting reaper into his arms and took off in a sprint.

“Oh hell!” echoed in the wind as the pair flew through the forest behind the manor towards their destination, Edward Midford’s residence.

* * *

 

“This is where Edward lives!?” Ciel asked while pointing toward a once pristine London-style townhouse. The home was located on the outskirts of London, far away from any other inhabitants. Overgrown grasses and unkempt flower beds surrounded the property; the gate that bore the large M in the center was broken, allowing the pair to enter with ease.

“Yes, my lord. From what I’ve heard after Elizabeth’s disappearance he went rather mad, refusing to mingle with the rest of society. He has been cooped up here, slowly drinking himself into the grave.

The reaper didn’t respond and continued up the walkway to the front door. “Should we knock or something?” he asked.

Sebastian moved forward, reaching around the boy, and opened the door. “No, he’s so old, he probably wouldn’t hear it anyway. Please, do enter.”

The rickety door creaked as it shut behind the pair. Ciel’s eye moved around the room, taking in the filthy interior. The house was in need of a thorough cleaning at a minimum. At most, it needed to be gutted and redone in a modern fashion by an owner that cared for appearances. Edward Midford clearly did not at this point in his life.

Each stair groaned as the demon and reaper walked up to the second level. A soft glow could be seen from a distant room; they headed toward it. The scent of fire burning waifed through Ciel’s nose, making it tickle. A gloved hand stopped the boy from going further. Puzzled, Ciel looked up at the butler questioningly but didn’t speak.

“Stay here for a moment. I’m going to talk to him first, as I don’t want him having a heart attack if he sees you—you are dead after all.” Sebastian said, answering the unspoken question. Ciel had nodded in agreement before Sebastian entered past the threshold of the glowing room within a few strides.

A roaring fire was burning in the fireplace, making shadows dance along the walls of the large room. An old man was huddled in a chair next to the hearth, apparently sleeping.

“Mr. Midford, do wake up.” Sebastian started in a low voice. When Edward didn’t stir, he announced his presence more forcefully. “Edward Midford!”

The boom of the demon’s voice snapped the sleeping man awake in a jolt. “Hm, what!? Who’s there!?” Edward asked, whipping his head back and forth. He saw a fuzzy outline of a tall man before him; he reached over for his glasses to see better. “Sebastian? Is that you?” he asked, clearing the sleep from his tired eyes.

“Yes, Midford. It is I, Sebastian Michaelis,” the demon quipped.

“Sebastian?…I must be dreaming.” Edward pinched himself lightly on the arm. “No, you’re still here…”

“You aren’t dreaming Edward. It is really me, and I’ve brought someone with me.”

“What’s going on, Sebastian? I haven’t seen you in how many years? A very long time I know.” the old man said with a cough.

“It’s your day of reckoning. Time to face up to what you did all those years ago,” the butler reminded.

“What are you talking about? How dare you hassle an old man!”

“Elizabeth,” is the only word that escapes the butler’s mouth. It was the only word he needed to say, for instantly Edward’s face fell followed by a sob.

Sebastian jerked his head toward the interior of the room, letting Ciel know to enter. Slowly he walked into the warm room, eyes focused on the old man facing the warm flames.

“Is it true, Edward?” Ciel boomed as he came to a stop in front of the over-sized chair.

The old man’s voice was piercing as a terrified scream left his lungs. He grabbed his chest and pounded on it, shaking his head, trying to make the reaper before him disappear. It had to be a nightmare; Ciel Phantomhive was dead, so he couldn’t be in front of him at that moment. However, now that the man thought of what he was seeing, Sebastian shouldn’t have looked the same as he did back them either.

One bony finger pointed directly at Ciel. “You, you’re aren’t here. You’re dead.” He grabbed the half empty whiskey bottle that was near him and took a swig.

The reaper promptly stepped forward and plucked the bottle from the man’s shaking hands. Immediately Edward reached for his self-medication. “I think you’re done with this,” Ciel arched and eyebrow, turned and tossed the bottle into the fire. Flames shot up violently with loud pop as the bottle broke and alcohol burned. “Dead or not, I’m here!”

“No!” the man sobbed. “What do you want? What do you want to know? Just don’t destroy any more of the only thing that’s good in my life!”

“My, my,” Sebastian smirked and glanced at Ciel. “Alcohol is the only thing bringing you solace in this miserable existence of yours? How wretched.”

The reaper folded his hands at his back, ignoring the demon’s remark, and moved closer to the elderly man, so close that the pairs’ knees were touching. “Look at me, Edward!” The old man shuddered at the harsh tone but raised his gaze to meet the lone burning green. “Tell me what you did to Elizabeth. Now,” the boy commanded with all the status and force of the Earl he once was.

A few sniffs and the man spoke, not taking his eyes off the former lord. “Your eye, it’s…”

“Shut it about my eye. What happened!? You look guilty as hell. Tell me.” Ciel slammed his knuckles into the wall next to them. Edward’s eye went wide as he witnessed the weakling he remembered put his clenched fist through the wall and tear it back out, trailing dust all over the floor.

Edward Midford adjusted himself in the worn chair, sitting up straighter, and fiddled with the blanket that covered his legs. A sad far away look glazed his eyes as he peered right at Ciel, almost looking through him. The man clasped his hands on his lap; he was nervous and frightened. He knew that he might die tonight if Ciel’s anger was anything like it was in the past.

“I will tell you…just know that if I could take any of it back, I would. I would give my life to take it all back.” He wiped a tear from his wrinkled cheek. Not being able to bear looking the other in the eye while he spoke, the man just stared at his shaking hands. The reaper backed up to give Edward some space.

“Lizzy had been trying to get your attention for years now,” Edward began. “She always put on her prettiest dresses and threw parties as a way to get you to look at her with love in your eyes, just once. You gave her pecks on the cheek, but never truly made an effort to get to know her, to love her. By duty, you were to be married, but that was all. She mentioned to me several times that she wanted you to love her as a woman should be loved; she was worried that you wouldn’t be interested in her as a wife, but she had her duties as well, so went along with the arrangement.”

Sebastian watched Ciel’s face change from anger to sadness. The reaper had his arms crossed, trying to keep his emotions at bay as the man continued.

“She craved man’s touch after a while it seemed. She would tell me things, things I didn’t want to know about…about things, she wanted to do with you. She was so sad, god it killed me.” Edward learned over and dabbed the blanket to his eyes. It was getting hard to speak as the lump in his throat continued to grow. He vowed that he needed to get this horrible story out, the story of what he allowed to happen before he died.

“Anyway, I had started a bad habit of going with friends and drinking until the early hours of the morning. I’d come home, and Elizabeth would be waiting for me in her night dress. At first, she said it was because she was worried about my safety and helped me upstairs to my room. Time went on, and there were caresses to my intimate parts, just brushes one could pass off as accident while helping a drunk man walk…except they kept happening. One night I came home, and she had a different attitude about her. Lizzy escorted me all the way to my room this time and helped me to bed. I remember her giving me this small glass of fragrant alcohol, saying it would help me relax further. I drank it in one gulp. My body starting feeling as if it was on fire. I was so hot, so I started tearing at my clothes.”

Ciel cleared his throat loudly and rubbed his face. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear what was about to come next. Edward asked if he should continue; the reaper nodded “Yes,” and covered his mouth with his hand to stave off wanting to vomit.

“I won’t go into graphic detail, but you can imagine what happened after she helped me out my clothing and started kissing down my chest. I was so out of it that I didn’t stop her—I was so high, but honestly, I don’t think I wanted to. We had sex; I remembered almost all of it the next morning. I was angry and disgusted that she would do that to me!”

The reaper clenched his fists. “You were the older one! Even if you were drunk, you are responsible for your actions!” he shouted. “You should have pushed her off the moment she was coming on to you! Dammit, you knew she was distraught!!! She didn’t know…” Anger started bubbling up in the boy’s chest. How dare that man turn to him and tell him it wasn’t his fault? Elizabeth couldn’t have possibly known what she was doing…right?

The old man interrupted. “Oh Phantomhive, I think she knew exactly what she was doing! Yes, I should have had the will to stop her, but I didn’t; I made a mistake! And then it turned into a bigger one!”

“Go on,” Ciel said as he leaned against the brick hearth, pounding the back of his head against the stone. The reaper was wrought with emotions; his affliction was starting to show as his body began trembling uncontrollably.

Edward sniffled again and choked back a mumbling sob. “God, I’m sorry…”

“God cannot help you!” Ciel spat.

“I know! I have to get out my sins; beg for your forgiveness.”

Sebastian was still standing in the corner, calmly watching the situation unfold.

“A month or so later, Elizabeth came to me…told me she was pregnant with my child! God, I didn’t know what to do. I was sickened. I panicked and told her I didn’t want anything to do with her bastard child.” More salty tears began to roll down Edwards cheeks; he couldn’t wipe them fast enough.

“I told her if this got out it would ruin our family. I came up with a plan though, a good plan if it worked. I…I…told her that she needed to bed you, Ciel, as soon as possible. If she did that, she could say that the Earl Phantomhive impregnated her and avoid a scandal. You two would just get married immediately; the time would be so close…we hoped that the public wouldn’t think otherwise. I know it was wrong, but you were to marry anyway…you were old enough to get her pregnant. She was so scared, but I assured her that it would be your first time and you would ejaculate quickly inside her and then it would be over and she’d have her story.”

Ciel was livid; his face beat red with anger. “You fucking told her to come to my bed! To seduce me into fucking her!?” Edward cringed at the harsh words; he wasn’t used to hearing the curses fly from the boy’s mouth.

The pieces started connecting in the reaper’s mind. “You! You were the goddamn reason she was in my bed that night! You did it! You made her come to stay over so she could lay with me…” Ciel’s outrage simmered from his core. All the rage that was commonplace as the Queen’s Watchdog was resurfacing out of nowhere. And then the reaper said it.

“You, Edward Midford, are the reason why Lizzy is dead! If she hadn’t been at my manor, if she hadn’t crawled into my bed that night, she wouldn’t have been murdered. No, if you never fucked her, she wouldn’t have gotten into the entire predicament in the first place!!!” Ciel snarled and screamed as the rabid dog he was said to be all those years ago. All the traumatizing memories of the past, of what happened to Lizzy, came to the forefront of his mind and he blamed it all on the old man sitting before him. He wanted him to pay for what he’d done. Suddenly a light metal object appeared in his hand. A voice every so lightly reached his burning ears. The voice urged him. “Go on, make the incestuous bastard pay for what he’s done…he deserves it…”

A single shot rang out, followed by a gurgled yelp.

The seconds ticked by ever so slowly. It seemed like an eternity until Ciel snapped out of his enraged stupor to find both eyes wide open without the patch, peering over the outstretched arm that held the smoking gun. His right eye burned with a fury.

Instantly the reaper threw the gun across the room. “No, no! I can’t kill, I’m a reaper!” Ciel fell to his knees as he was shaking too badly to hold himself up. “What have I done?” He rocked himself harshly to and fro on the floor.

Sebastian stepped over to his downed property and placed a gloved hand on his shoulder. “Shhh,…it’s alright. I knew the villainous Nobel was still inside you somewhere; we just had to find it,” he whispered.

Slowly, Ciel craned his neck to peer at the looming demon. “You…you wanted this? You made me turn into the person I hadn’t been for years…you…”

“I only showed you your true self my lord—full of hate and rage. However, you did nothing wrong, see?” Sebastian held the open to-die-list in front of the boy’s face. Ciel’s eyes glossed over to what he was pointing at. It read that Edward Midford was to die via a single gunshot wound to the chest on that very same day. The reaper glanced at the demon with a confused expression, knitting his brows.

“Yes, my lord, you were always predestined for this moment. You can never forget who you were, no matter how much you change the exterior. Remember that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter really ended up surprising me...before I realized it, this one grew to 3,293 words! I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written and it was in one sitting. Damn.
> 
> So, I hope you enjoyed this little unexpected turn of events. <3


	13. No Thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how the hell six months have passed since I've updated this story? (︶︹︺) Time is going by much too fast for my liking.
> 
> I apologize it's been nearly forever in fanfic terms. I know this chapter is not the strongest nor the longest, but I hope you enjoy it the same.
> 
> <3

 

* * *

 

The dark shadows cast from burning candles nearly obscured the shaking boy in the middle of the bed. Ciel Phantomhive was curled in a ball, holding himself, teeth chattering.

“No, no, no. This is all wrong,” Ciel sputtered as he clutched his trembling hands together. “I never wanted to be that person again—a murderer—an evil soul wanting nothing but revenge.” Ciel’s body began to cramp as the shaking fit grew more violent. The boy was stressed and in anguish, causing the tremors to be stronger than his will to control them.

Sebastian entered the bedroom, setting tea on the dusty nightstand. “My lord, are you having a seizure?”

The demon’s gloved hand ghosted over an exposed shoulder.

“Don’t touch me! Thanks to what you did all that time ago, I cannot fucking control the shakes when I’m lost to anger or stress.” A thin line of blood dripped from a lip caught in the fit of gnashing teeth.

The butler frowned, knitting his thin brows as he settled himself on the edge of the bed. Ciel glared at the unwanted closeness but didn’t speak—watching as a tiny clear vile was extracted from an inner waistcoat pocket.

“Open your mouth.”

The former lord drew him on himself further, burying his face in the antique nightshirt. “No. I don’t want to be drugged.”

“Since when does it matter what you want?” Sebastian snapped as he reached over, pulling the boy out of his ball and toward the edge of the bed by his throat. “I’m trying to help you. Now, open your jaw, or I’ll break it.” The demon loosened his fingers from the throat, cupping them under Ciel’s chin firmly. He squeezed the vulnerable hinge. “Don’t test me. Open.”

Ever so slowly the small mouth unclenched, revealing more blood spots from a bitten tongue. With a flick of Sebastian’s thumb, the vial was opened and pouring down the other’s throat a moment later.

“Good boy—swallow.” The butler stroked Ciel’s esophagus with two fingers to encourage the reflex. “I know your good at it—go on.”

Sebastian watched, giving the other a fanged smirk as the little adam’s apple bobbed up and down.

The boy’s tremors ceased.

Lord Phantomhive’s eyes darted around frantically, unsure of what had just occurred. It felt as if his body had been wound tightly as violin strings stretched across the fingerboard and now he felt released—the strings had finally snapped.

“What…did you…do?” Piercing green eyes focused on the swirling red irises questioningly. Ciel patted his body—everything felt normal.

“I do apologize, my lord. You see, I didn’t _truly_ give you the cure to the poisoning I gave you years ago. The only _complete_ cure for the effects of liquid brimstone on a divine being is…angel tears. Quite rare, I assure you.”

The wheels in Ciel’s head started to turn, going through all the suffering he’d went through due to that one encounter. Once again, his butler was a liar. Once again, he’d went through unnecessary pain due to the demon.

“You asshole!” The reaper jumped up to tower over his butler still sitting on the bed. “Constantly playing these games and feeding me lies! Will you ever fucking cease?”

Sebastian rose as a slim finger pointed in his face. A light push of his hand caused Ciel to fall back so that the demon could crouch over the other, asserting his dominance.

“A ‘Thank you.’ would have been more appropriate. As for me stopping—I just did. I gave you my only cure from brimstone poisoning. I gave you back the ability to heal fully and stop the troublesome shaking.” The demon moved closer, mere inches from the boy’s gaping face. “I didn’t have to give you shit. And I didn’t have to show you the truth about Edward and Elizabeth. Remember that next time you think about calling me a lying asshole.”

“Why!? Why do this? You’re just fucking with me again! Answer me, demon—why?” Ciel’s fists shook as struggled to break free from the butler’s caged form.

Letting him free, Sebastian gripped his face, making red prints bloom on his cheeks. “Why, why, WHY! Fucking humans always asking, ‘Why?’”

“ _Why_ do bad things happen?”

“ _Why_ do plagues sweep the nation and kill thousands?”

“ _Why_ do serial killers get off on murdering innocents?”

“ _Why_ do cults like to kidnap children?”

“ _Why_ do little boys _kill their parents_?”

The demon’s eyes were fiery pits of crimson as he worked down from his tirade. He glared at his charge, sneering with sharp fangs fully visible. “You miserable pieces of meat and bone need to stop whining and take things as they are given to you and be thankful when it’s positive. A heavy dose of looking in a mirror would be appropriate for your species as well.”

“Horrible things happen. Miraculous things happen. Sometimes there isn’t a fucking reason. Humans are inherently evil and you pieces of shit look at demons like we are the bain of the earth—that we cause suffering when it is not us killing off our own kind day after day!”

Ciel stared in shock as Sebastian raged, pacing the room as wisps of smoke followed his every move. “I did it because I felt like it. Dare I say…I was trying to be _nice._ ”

If the reaper was thinking clearly, he wouldn’t have launched off the bed and halted the others movements with both hands. Sebastian rose his hand to hit him, only stopping when black-tipped fingers were inches from the gray hair. “Get out,” he heaved. “I cannot stand to look at you. I’ve cured you of your ills, and you behave worse than the human you were.”

“What? Do you expect me to grovel on my knees to thank you for curing a disease that _you_ caused!? I don’t know what has gotten into you, but, demon or not, if you are trying—for some asinine reason—to gain my favor, you’re doing it in the most backward, idiotic way possible. You force me to do unspeakable things, trick me into murdering someone, and then do something _kind_ and think I should be grateful?”

Sebastian marched toward the armoire, taking a few garments out and tossing them toward the other. “Don’t you have somewhere to be? Go to work, go see your precious William, just get the _hell_ out of my face. Now.”

Without taking his eyes off his butler, Ciel picked up each and every garment, pulling them on as quickly as he was able. When he was dressed, he hesitated before speaking once more. “I don’t know what is going on in that screwed up head of yours, but I cannot go back there. I murdered a human—as a reaper that is…”

Ciel put his hands up instinctively to catch the streak of blue that hurled toward him. Turning the object over in his hands he smiled, putting on the blue-rimmed spectacles. 

“As a reaper that means nothing—look at Grell—somehow _it_ has a job.” Sebastian took a steadying breath as he took a few longs strides to the door, opening it and gesturing to the other. “Go. I expect you back here when you’re done.”

Grasping the lapels of the black suit, the boy inched his way toward the door. “I don’t understand. Why would you?”

Grumbling, Sebastian answered with a sneer. “Do not ask—take the morsels I give you and do as you’re told.”

Ciel slowly walked past, unsure if it was a test of some sort, then bolted just as he was a few feet away. His mind was reeling, unable to comprehend the other’s actions. Was it trick—again? If so, what would be the purpose?

 

* * *

 

William gazed out his office window with a grimace. The reports didn’t add up again—Grell was a thorn in his side, and the reaper swore the red-head found immense enjoyment in his pain. Putting his fingers to his temples, he tried to will away the ache when a soft knock sounded behind him. Glancing at the clock, he sighed—it better be important—he wasn’t in the mood. “Enter,” Will shouted, not turning around his chair to greet the unwanted visitor.

“If you have another report, put it in the stack to the right and leave. I cannot deal with another idiot today.”

“I thought _I_ was your _favorite_ idiot though…”

That voice. He must have fallen asleep in his paperwork—he was dreaming—again. William hated these nights where his memories haunted him, where a friend from the past rubbed his absence in his face and cackled that it was all his fault. A shiver ran down his spine as he raked a shaky hand through his hair. “Not tonight. Please, not now, not again. I’m waking up now.” He slapped himself a bit harder than he’d intended. Blowing out a breath, he murmured, “This will be over when I turn around. I’ll wake up and have knocked all my precious paperwork everywhere.”

A gasp left the elder reaper’s lips as he turned fully to see a figure standing in the middle of his office.

“It’s getting worse—now I’m not only hearing him but seeing him. It seems so real—wake up damn you.” Feeling around on his desk, William picked up the steel letter opener, putting it to the center of his palm. _Real pain should wake me, right?_

Ciel ran over to the chair, knocking the blade out of the other’s hands. “Stop. You’re not dreaming. I am here—Ciel Phantomhive.”

A tear slipped free. “You can’t be here—you’re gone—taken to hell to suffer eternally.”

“No, no. Sebastian is…is having some kind of breakdown. It’s all confusing…something is really wrong. He cured me—told me to leave and come here.” Ciel took the other’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “It’s really me, my friend.”

William’s eye flicked up meeting the a lone orb of the same shade. “It’s…you?” Ciel nearly fell backward as the other launched himself at the smaller reaper.

“Ow! I can’t hold all your weight, Spears! Get off! This is _not_ becoming of you in the least.”

Ignoring the grumbling he so missed, Will passed his hands over the boy, checking for injuries, marveling at the partner he thought he’d never see again in all his existence.

“Oh, Phantomhive! Are you alright? Did he hurt you? Are you well? You’re eye—is it?” The typically stoic reaper was aghast with questions. He couldn’t believe his eyes—taking his spectacles off, he cleaned them on his shirt to be sure. Settling them back on his face, Ciel continued to stand near him.

Straightening his suit coat, Phantomhive looked to his friend with a smile. “Of course he hurt me,” he said, pointing to the eye patch, but I’m fine—resilient. I don’t want to talk about me. What about you? Did I miss anything in the…what…months…years I’ve been gone? I can’t keep track of time any longer.”

With a sweep of his arm, William push a large stack of papers off one of the guest chairs. Neatness be damned. “Sit, sit. Forgive the state of my room—you could say I haven’t been myself since you left. Grell even took me aside and yelled at me that I was working too much overtime. Me! Overtime!”

“Wow,” Ciel mouthed. “Are you sure you are the William T. Spears that I left? The reaper I knew would do just about anything to avoid working more than necessary or going to the company parties. Speaking of the old you, what the hell happened to your hair!? Even with the shit I've dealt with, I managed to tear a comb through it more than once or twice.”

William shrugged. “I was busy.”

“More like depressed,” Ciel tipped his head, grinning at the other. “Did you miss me that much? Lack of my presence made you completely forget that merely having a hair out of place or a button undone was cause for a smack with your scythe? Any longer and I may have come back to you dressing like Grell—and that’s a scary thought.”

A hint of a smirk played on the reaper’s lips. He missed this, more than he would be able to admit. He didn’t have anyone to talk with or to make him smile with Ciel gone. Before the boy was dropped in his lap he’d have said he didn’t need anyone or anything; now he knew that it could be no further from the truth.

“Maybe I’ve…let myself go...a bit.” William looked down sheepishly, gaining a snicker from his one and only friend.

 

* * *

 


	14. Leaving Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me this long to get this up. A kind reminder from a reader, I'm looking at you, Jenmoon, had me digging through my files to find I had a chapter nearly written for this next installment. Too many irons in the fire and real-life job agro sucks. lol
> 
> It's all good though. I really appreciate everyone that reads and it's awesome that someone enjoys the story enough to ask me to get my butt in gear. ;D
> 
> Please enjoy, the next chapter in my madness that is Awake but not Alive! <3

 

* * *

 

“I know it’s here somewhere…”

Ciel ducked as an old society manual whizzed past. William had lost all sense of organization as the years trudged by without his only friend. If his office was a mess when Ciel first showed up it was as if a tornado and earthquake both decimated the small space now.

“If you’d just tell me what you’re looking for I can help,” Ciel offered, trying to hide his annoyance.

More books and an old scythe clattered to the floor as William continued to search without answering. He didn’t want to admit he’d lost something so important--it had to be there. Somewhere.

Standing around became a bother as the search wore on. Looking around, however, not one surface was free to sit Everything had either paperwork, dirty clothing, or random trash covering its surface. Ciel marched to a chair in the corner that contained the least amount of loose paperwork and heaved up the gigantic pile, seeing the dates and notes written on the first page.

“I’m surprised they didn’t fire you yet.”

“Huh? What?” William yelled, buried in an armoire. Scooting out to hear better, he cursed as his head connected with a shelf.

“Ow!!! Shit!” Growling and rubbing his head, William made it to his feet. “Speak up will you? I can’t hear when I’m buried in this crap!” he snapped.

Ciel dropped the stack of looseleaf on the floor, the top papers flying off and making a ring around him as they floated to the ground. “I said...YOU ARE GOING TO GET FIRED!” Ciel shouted the words slowly as he glared at Spears. “What the fuck have you been doing? Did you see the dates on these reports?”

Will caught a sheet that Ciel launched at him, skimming down the lines of text.

“Oh...these are a little...dated,” he mumbled, snapping his fingers a few moments later.

Sidetracked by a different thought, Spears went to an opposite wall that contained a bookshelf. One by one he emptied the first shelf until he found was he was looking for. “I knew it was here! I hid it so the society wouldn’t destroy it or reissue it.” He turned to Ciel, glancing down at the floor before meeting his eyes. “I um...kind of...lied and said the demon stole them.”

Tapping his foot, Ciel folded his arms across his chest. “I have no idea what you’re talking about but if you didn’t have me worried before, you certainly do now. These reports are dated a year ago! And now you tell me you are lying to the higher ups too? I didn’t sacrifice my life for you to go off the deep end and do a complete one-eighty to turn into Sutcliff the Second.”

Spears toyed with the box in his hands a few times before tossing it to the other. “I’m sorry; you know I’m not good with emotions so...I...turned them off of sorts. I stopped caring because you were gone and I would be.”

Ciel muttered that now he was back, William wasn’t going anywhere as he released the black tie that held the small mahogany box closed. His mouth dropped open as he peered inside.

“I cannot believe you’ve hidden these for so long.”

Ciel’s hands tingled as the blue gloves glided over his slim digits. They felt warm and comforting as the death scythe molded to him once again. Power surged through his fingertips as the realization hit him. Ciel Phantomhive the Reaper was now at full strength with his death scythe--a dangerous combination. William saw the smirk on Ciel’s face, as brief as it was.

“Are you going to?” William asked. “I can feel the hate radiating off you and yet...I also sense...trepidation?”

Taking a deep breath, Ciel removed the gloves before any other dumb ideas ran through his brain. “No, no I’m not. I’ve said it before—I will not go back on my word this time.” He folded the gloves and stuffed them into his breast pocket. “Besides, something is going on with him and I will find out.”

Spears pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit that hadn’t left him in all the years Ciel was presumed TIH, Tortured in Hell. “Why do you even care? That demon will either lie to you or tell you something you don’t want to know. Just leave it, will you? We only have so much time…”

Time--something that William had mentioned twice so far. Reapers had lots of time. Why was he so jumpy about it suddenly?

“I got permission from my keeper,” Ciel said with a snort, “that I can work again, so I’m here to bug you for good. You’re worried I’ll be banned from this place?”

William shook his head. “No, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.”

Ciel raised an eyebrow. “Hm. Sounds like you’re breaking up with me.” He laughed at his ridiculous comment. “I get back and you don’t want to be friends anymore? Damn. Harsh much?”

Forgetting how fast William could be, Ciel let out a gasp, rocking forward.

“You want it again you little smartass,” Spears asked with a smug grin as he tapped the rolled up reports in his hand. “You haven’t been keeping up training—I’m faster than you now.”

Grinning, Ciel grabbed his own stack of papers. “Oh, dear William, have you forgotten how much I love games? That sounds like a challenge.”

William smacked himself in the forehead with the roll before tossing it aside. “Oh, no I haven’t. I may have lost myself but I haven’t completely lost my mind. Forget it. I am not going toe to toe with you.”

“That’s what I thought!” Ciel clicked his tongue and chuckled, smiling for once.

William strolled over to his silver tea kettle and cups, the only things that looked taken care of in the entire room. Pouring loose leaf Earl Grey into two strainers he emptied the kettle over the leaves.

Taking the offered cup, Ciel sat in his cleared spot and prepared for bad news. Judging by the grimace on William’s face, the senior reaper wasn’t enthusiastic about sharing what was on his mind.

Silence spread between them before William wet his lips and took a sip.

“Ciel…we…don’t have time. I don’t. I’m almost _finished_.”

With widened eyes, Ciel blew out the bit of tea he intended to swallow. He stared at a napkin before dabbing his mouth and looking up. His visible green eye shined with dampness.

“You’re…almost…done? Already?” Ciel paused, the gravity of the other’s words sinking in. “How long?”

“I still have time, but it's coming. I never thought this day would come, my penance being paid in full. I’m so sorry.” William swirled his tea with a sigh.

“Don’t be sorry. You’ll be free…free of…” He waved his hands out. “…this…all this. Peace—finally you’ll have peace.” The words caught in Ciel’s throat, the lump made it hard to speak.

William shrugged. “And you’ll never have it. I will have to leave knowing you will be…”

Ciel banged a hand on the table. “Don’t get upset about my fate. I made my decisions and now I have to live with them. I know I will never find peace. I made a deal and not even becoming a reaper can change that. When my time comes and I have paid my debt for my suicide, I still belong to the demon. My soul is not my own. And if I don’t get to my penance and Sebastian devours me—body and soul—the result is still the same. My essence, if there is anything left will be banished to hell.”

Sniffling, Ciel continued after a half-hearted smile. “You go in love and light. A happy ending is not in the cards for me—I made sure of it forever ago.”

“Thank you, Ciel.” He reached over and squeezed the small hand that was gripped in a tight fist. “But…what you said…I don’t understand. Body _and_ soul? What do you mean?”

Ciel shrugged and rubbed his neck. “Well…I’m a reaper now so…to destroy me without being released by my burdens first, Sebastian has to…to…eat me. Literally.”

“Ciel!” William put a hand to his mouth and gagged.

“I try not to think about it. Though, even as a reaper, I have a limit. I’m sure I’ll pass out from the physical pain…eventually.” Ciel’s demeanor was sharp and matter-of-fact.

“Phantomhive, you have to get away from him. He will eat you alive—you just said it. I can’t allow it.” William rose, slamming his palms down. “I won’t.”

Ciel chuckled and waved his friend back down. “Simmer down there, old friend. And just what are you going to do?”

William’s eyes darted everywhere but to look Ciel in the face. His shoulders dropped as he let himself fall back into the seat.

“Nothing. As I thought. Don’t place my sins on your head. I’ve done so many terrible things. The suffering and terror that would come with the fate you describe would be fitting. I would deserve it.”

“No one would deserve such an end.” William frowned and rubbed his trembling hands together.

Sighing, Ciel stirred his tea, adding more sugar to the already syrupy liquid. “Look, I don’t mean to be an ass but, it’s just the way it is. You don’t need—”

“I’ve got it!” William snapped his fingers, grinning like he’d never done before. “I’ll talk to the higher-ups. I’ll see if I can extend my time for yours so your file can be marked completed and you’re soul will be released.” Ciel tried to counter but was cut off. “I mean, yes, you’ll go to hell but at least you won’t have to go through the torture. I know I can—”

“No.”

William pounded the tabletop, hunching over. “What do you mean, no? It’s unorthodox, yes, but—”

Ciel continued to shake his head, folding his arms across his chest. “I said, no. Number one, they would never do it. Number two, I would never allow you to take over my debt.”

Huffing, William scanned the messy room. They’re had to be something he could do to help. Ciel saw it at the same time as he. The pair glanced to one another.

“No.” Ciel’s voice echoed in the small office.

“It’s perfect. Don’t tell me it’s not.” William looked over to his death scythe. “If I can’t take over your debt then I can help you destroy the lender. Two full-strength reapers could overpower a demon.” He tapped the table so Ciel would look at him. “You said he was acting strangely. Then we must take that vile creature out while he’s out of it and concentrating on other things besides you.”

“Did you forget?” Ciel got up and kicked the desk, letting papers fly everywhere. “You have been screwing off the entire time I’ve been gone. You’re not at full strength and neither am I. You’re my best friend, only friend, so I’m asking you nicely…drop it. Now. I am taking responsibility and you are going to be free with a clear conscience.”

William bolted up and captured Ciel in a crushing hug. “Please don’t just let this happen to you. I’m thankful I’ll get to work with you before I leave, but now—”

“Now nothing.” Ciel gently shimmied out of Will’s grasp. “I’m sorry I ever explained. Listen, I've gotta go for now. Just…” He pointed to the piles of filth all around. “pick up this pit of an office and clean yourself up. You can’t go into paradise looking like that. I’ll be back and we’ll discuss what’s to come. Deal?”

“No. No deal, but you’re not really giving me a choice, are you?”

Ciel grinned and patted his friend on the back. “That’s the spirit You still remember… _I_ get the last word.”

With a hand in the air, Ciel marched out of the office, disappearing in a flash in the open doorway.

 

* * *

 

The floorboards creaked as Ciel made his way across the old wooden hardwood. “Shit. Now he knows where—”

“I could smell you the instant you came through the portal.” A voice came from a corner in the darkness.

The tapping of fine soled shoes echoed in the silent room. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out? Was it your game all along?” Sebastian’s glowing eyes emerged from the swirling black.

Ciel slung off his coat and put his hands in the air. “I don’t know what you’re going on about. I’ve had a shit day and you are the last creature I want to deal with right now.”

“Should I care?”

Turning slowly, Ciel felt the breath down his neck. He came around to rows of pointed teeth directly at eye-level.

“Get out of my face,” Ciel commanded.

Sebastian’s mouth turned into a tight grin.

“Yeah, I’m saying it this time. Move.”

“Someone is feeling bold.” Sebastian’s burning gaze flitted to the bed. “Could it be due to the scythe in your pocket?”

Ciel cursed as his fingers slipped inches from the fringes of his jacket. Sebastian was still faster.

Eyes followed the black nails as they dipped into the jacket, pulling out the navy blue gloves.

“They do feel so…powerful.” Sebastian’s grin grew wider as he slipped one glove over his fingers.

Stepping forward, Ciel ground his teeth, spitting as he came to a stop. “Remove your vile hands from _my_ scythe. I will not demand twice.”

Sebastian tsked his small charge, tearing the glove off and tossing both behind him. “You’ll demand nothing. Again, you thought I wouldn’t find out? These were issued to a one Ciel Phantomhive, no?”

“What are you getting at? They are _mine_ and you _will_ give them back.” Ciel spat as he balled his hands into fists.

Sebastian chucked and then frowned. “Alas, there are no _Ciels_ here. Are there…Terre?”

Gulping, Ciel took a step back, His eyes bloomed wide and his lips thinned into a fine line.

“Where did you hear that name?” A bead a sweat stung his eye under the patch. “Answer me. Where did—” Ciel’s voice boomed, he didn’t realize he was shaking.

Ciel stayed planted to the spot as Sebastian crept closer as wisps of black mist followed.

“Still playing dumb? I guess it suits you. Doesn’t it—second son, Terre Phantomhive?” Sebastian’s laugh shook the crumbling window panes as Ciel collapsed on the floor, his hands covering his face.

Ciel banged on his chest, he couldn’t breathe. Memories struck him from every crevice of his mind.

The boy reaper trembled as the demon stood over him.

“You. You offered a soul that wasn’t yours to give. Were you trying to outsmart the devil? Stupid child.” Sebastian nudged the lump beneath him with a foot.

The pain tore at Ciel’s throat, he uttered one phrase before collapsing again. “I am the _only_ Ciel Phantomhive you damn demon.”

 

* * *

 


End file.
